the Yearning Heartz...

Hebrew 3-4 Devotion

2010-03-23T09:58:00.000+08:00

Hebrews 3:1-6 (MSG)
"Moses was also faithful, but Jesus gets far more honor. A builder is more valuable than a building any day. Every house has a builder, but the Builder behind them all is God. Moses did a good job in God's house, but it was all servant work, getting things ready for what was to come. Christ as Son is in charge of the house."

Sometimes I tend to compare how certain people have the flair or anointing when it comes to spiritual leadership. I was thinking to myself, I want to be like that too, so that I can do a good job in leading the sheep entrusted t me.

But no matter what, I have to remember that I'm still a steward and servant in all the things I do. Jesus is the ultimate receiver of the Glory.

Hebrews 4:1-3 (MSG)
"...We received the same promises as those people in the wilderness, but the promises didn't do them a bit of good because they didn't receive the promises with faith..."

Promises of God are abound. But if I didn't believe in what God tells me, then it is as good as not receiving the promises.

Have faith, believe and act as if the promises will come. Indeed, at the end, the promises of God will surely come.

It's all about the goodness of Jesus...

2009-12-29T17:13:00.000+08:00

It's been 2 years since I came back from JB. Sean told me that Ps Chee Kiang and his team are down in KL for a zone retreat and asked if I wanna meet up with him. I said, "Why not? It's great to catch up."

It's really a great time of catching up, as we sat down, talked and shared about life and ministries. I like him a lot because of his transparency in sharing the revelations he learned throughout his journey as a zone pastor.

After talking to him, here are some of the nuggets of wisdom I began to learn:

When it comes to leading your ministry and leadership team is that it must be founded on Jesus himself. We can motivate and inspire our leaders/members to do church, grow the cells, organize activities, etc. but at the end of the day, we cannot leave Jesus out of the picture. We cannot be so caught up with the ministry without going focusing on the real Minister Himself - Jesus. When we talk about the parable of the sower, we cannot always ask people to focus on being the good ground, but at the same time, we forgot to talk about who the real Sower really is - Jesus Himself.

Sometimes ministry can become so 'it's all about growth'. But really ministry is all about the goodness of Jesus.

One of my high school CF leaders used to tell me that ministry is the outpouring of your life and love towards others. Imagine a jar of water, it must be filled to the maximum before it can overflow. One cannot serve others when he himself is empty or dried out. One cannot serve in a ministry when his life is not filled up with love. He will get easily burnt out and tired, because the demands are high.

I told Ps Chee Kiang, "The way I'm leading my CG today...the foundation of it...is what I learned throughout my years in JB church."

One of the things I learned while I was back in JB is organizing big day events. How to draw the crowd? How to have breakthroughs in attendance and make it a successful event?

But I come to realize that if I keep on organizing big days or events in my team, my members would soon tire out and burn out. If all they ever do is inviting people over and over again for one event after another, it's gonna be very tiring. I want people to stay in my CG and church because of the relationship and friendship, not because we're having another event.

Ps CK said, "Go one-on-one." No doubt, one person can reach out to 10-15 person at one go. But a one-on-one approach is definitely more effectively. It's all about the relationship.

Another thing I learn is that when it comes to motivating your members, don't always just strategize and talk about ways to grow. Haha...one of the things I would like to improve on for the coming year is that...I want to always remind the leaders under me, why are they doing the things they do. It's all because of Jesus. Remind them about the goodness of Jesus.

Revelation 3:20 says
²⁰Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

Here Jesus is knocking at the door of the cell group, at the door of the church. Do we get too caught up with attendance and programmes and doing church that we forgot to talk about Jesus in all these? We can get guilty of doing church and CG without involving Jesus.

One of the things which Ps Kevin always said, "The thing that made us wanna come back to church is really the presence of God."

We wouldn't be ashamed about mentioning somebody's name if we are close with the person.

How to make a cell group fun and exciting? First, build a strong friendship among one another. Second, always tell them about the goodness of Jesus.

Keep the right foundation and the cell group cannot help but to grow from there.

A or B?

2009-11-01T02:11:00.000+08:00

The greatest challenge of every person is crossroads...is choices. There is saying that goes, "The life that you have now is a summation of all the choices and decisions you made till now."

What do you do when the path to A feels good? But the path to B feels equally good as well.

There are certain advantages and disadvantages of pursuing path A...and there are certains pros and cons in going path B.

You can only choose one. You cannot have both.

The only way to confidently step forward to pick a path, is to leave all past baggages behind. Whatever past failures and disappointments that one has carried all the way till now, this is the part where everything needs to be dropped off before continuing.

This is the part where one moves on to forge a new future, without referring back to old past experiences.

So A or B?

Understanding Guy Members

2009-10-31T10:36:00.001+08:00

Crystal requested that I add on to what I wrote earlier. So here goes:

One of the struggles of every girl leader is when they need to know how to mentor guy members. Many girls will complain that guys have this one characteristic called "Male Ego". In Chinese, they call it "face". Almost all guys know how to protect each other's ego or "face". But yet sometimes to the girls, they think male ego is a very obstructing unnecessary characteristic. But as a female leader, I believe this is one area where you cannot neglect. Learn the art of dealing with male ego and your guy member will lay down his life for you. Break the rules and you can wonder why your guy member can never rise up.

How do you gain a guy's respect? Here are a few ways you can do it:

1. Learn to tap into his strength.

Don't harp on his flaws. But use his strength to the benefit of the whole team. That will make him feel good and that will make everyone happy. But you say, I don't know what is his strength. Well, help him discover one! A man's identity is derived from accomplishments. When he feels he's contributing to his team through his strength and talent, he will feel more willing to go the extra mile for you.

2. Appreciate him.

When he does something for you, say things like "Great job!", "You're awesome!", "Thank you so much!". These words bring a lot of significance to a man. They let the guy know he's doing great and he'll keep on doing more great things for you. Praise them! And of course, they may not show it out to you, or they may even say, "Aiya...no lah...where got good!" But within their heart, they are glowing with joy. I'm a guy...I know.

3. Be patient when he makes mistakes.

When a guy makes mistakes, I've seen how some female leaders corner the guy with questions like:
"You could have done it this way. Why didn't you do so?"
"Why are you so blur?"
"You did so-and-so mistake. Can you please tell me why you do so?"
"Why are you always like that?"

These type of questions are bad. Because they force the guy to defend themselves. And when the guy begins to defend himself, he'll start giving you all sorts of excuses. Then you argue somemore, "What kind of excuse is that?" Then he began giving more excuses to cover his first excuse. At the end, you wonder why does he have such bad attitude.

Solution: Just teach him the right way to do it and say it nicely. If he fails to help carry heavy stuff for the girls, don't go screaming at him, "Why are you so not gentleman?" Instead teach him nicely, "Is it ok if you could help the girls carry their stuff next time when you see them? I think they'll appreciate it a lot."

Many leaders focus too much on the past and what has already happened, they should instead focus on the future, and on how they can get things done right next time.

4. Never question his manhood.

To say things like "Where is your manhood?" or "Why are you so not gentleman?", you'll kill the guy's respect for you if you're not careful with your words. "You're too soft!" Yes, it'll make you look good pointing out their flaws, but there are some long-term consequences to that. Don't be flippant in using words that insults a man's pride. Ruin it and everybody suffers for it.

5. Believe in him.

And the most important thing of all leadership is you believing in him. You want to see him improve. You want to help him to accomplish great things. You want to see him realize his dreams and potential.

The greatest turn-off of every guy is to have people pinpointing their flaws and mistakes everyday of their lives. As leaders, we need to be less judgmental and be more believing & forgiving towards them.

Yes, sometimes we have to discipline them for their errors. But the level you correct them must be proportionate to the level you love them. If you have never got interested in your member's life and you try to force them to change, they will only grow resentment. Save yourself the trouble and be their friends first before getting into their lives...

Ultimately, the job of every leader is to challenge our members to do something because they WANT to, and not because they HAVE to. In some circumstances, I've committed this mistake myself by forcing somebody to do something they have no heart to. Yes, they did it because they didn't want to upset me. But they only did it once, and they totally disappear after that. The best way to make them do something is to inspire them, and make them want to run the vision on their own accord!

Don't hard sell your team vision. Engage their emotions and paint the picture of the future when the team vision is accomplished. And help them see where they fit in! Once they know how they contribute to the bigger puzzle, they will willingly lay down their lives for it...

The Myth of the Perfect Stranger

2009-10-26T15:39:00.001+08:00

Everybody has it. Everybody dreams of it. Yes...the myth of the perfect stranger! Coming in to sweep you off your feet in a wave of romance and then he/she disappears into the sunset. Someone that comes and gives you a touch of adventure and release from all your pressures and responsibilities of the world.

No wonder so many girls fall in love with the movie Twilight. No wonder they go crazy when they hear the name "Edward Cullen". Try google the phrase "Why girls love twilight" or "Why girls love edward cullen"...you'll be surprised by the millions of results.

It is every person's desire to be desired.

In Twilight, we see our Belle lives a very depressing and anti-social life until the very handsome Edward pops into her life and PURSUE her. He draws her out from her pitiful and sad life into a world of adventure, danger and excitement. And the best part, Edward doesn't even ask for her commitment. He does it with no strings attached.

What is the myth of the perfect stranger?

It is a person of your opposite gender, who meets every single of your ideals and criteria. He/She comes in, not knowing you, but has such a deep interest in getting to know you, in making you happy. He/She makes you feel as if you're the most important person on planet Earth! He/She has got all the criteria you wanted in a partner -- good looking, confident, sensitive to your feelings, leadership, smart, intelligent, witty talker, etc.

In a world where you are always misunderstood by others, this perfect stranger comes in and understand you.
In a world where you are always drowned with responsibilities, this perfect stranger comes in and helps you to enjoy life and take life less seriously
In a world where you are expected to perform and constantly please others, this perfect stranger comes in and makes you realize YOU are the most important person on earth.
In a world where everybody else just cares about their own business and nothing about you, this perfect stranger comes in and cares for you.
In a world where you feel unappreciated, this perfect stranger comes in and adores/admires you.

What are the girl's wish list?

Must be funny.
Must be financially stable.
Must have directions in life.
Must be confident.
Must have leadership.
Must be caring towards her.
And others...

And if you are a believer girl, here's some additional criteria:

Must be passionate in the things of God.
Must be a strong leader in the church and able to lead her.
Must be romantic and loving towards her.
Must be outstanding and have a lot of disciples under him.
Must be like a pastor! Or must be somebody who's making a great impact in the marketplace!

What about the guy's wish list?

Must be pretty or at least well-groomed.
Must admire him.
Must be smart (optional).
Must be friendly.

Ah...that's still pretty superficial, right? Let's bring it deeper and add on a little...what the believer guys want?

Must be very well-dressed, well groomed, and good looking.
Must be pastoral, and caring for people around her.
Must love God with all her heart, and love the church.
Must be a powerful leader who disciples many members.
Must be spiritual.
Must have a great vision in life.
Must be outstanding in personality and also shine in ministry.
Must make him feel the magical sparks (those romance romance feelings).

I believe many guys and girls won't admit to these criteria, but indirectly one or few of the people they've liked before surely fall into one of these few criteria.

So is it too unrealistic to have all these idealistic criteria? Will we in our quest to pursue the perfect stranger, miss out on those who are already placed right in front of us?

This leads me to another question...do you believe in getting a ready-product partner? Or do you believe in growing together with your partner?

A ready-product partner is someone who has already reached 'that' level. Someone who has already achieved the pinnacle of success in his career, finance, leadership and ministry. This person probably will meet all your ideals easily.

A grow-together partner is someone who has not reached 'there' yet, but he/she is working towards it. This is often the most realistic view of a partner...because honestly speaking, Barack Obama isn't born into this world as the US President. Everybody has a long journey to walk in order to reach their success.

For people who always wish that his/her partner is like a Superman or some super celebrity or some super world-shaker, time to come down a little bit to earth. You can either wish for that super human to start noticing you, or you can have one partner, grow together with him/her, help him/her to transform into the super human, who will one day become the adoration of other jealous people who wish their partners are like yours. Which one do you choose?

The perfect stranger doesn't exist. It is you who should choose to believe in somebody and see him/her transform into a great person!

What Makes a Man Rise Up?

2009-09-19T02:28:00.000+08:00

This is just a random thought that popped into my mind. But I think I'll share cause I believe it'll help the people out there to relate to certain group of people.

I've often female leaders complain why is it so hard to make guy members under them rise up to their calling. Why are the guys so passive? Why do girls basically rise up faster than guys?

I believe it all lies in the mechanism of how different a guy and a girl are wired.

Let's look at the question of why girls tend to rise up faster in their group compared to the guys.

I believe that's because girls are relationship-based creatures. Because girls are more sensitive in their relationships with others, they stand a better chance in capturing their leader's vision and heart easily. Thus, if you're a leader, and you have a girl assistant under you, if you have a good relationship with her, there's a higher chance that she will align herself to run your vision.

The principle is simple. To get a girl member under you to commit to your vision, simply build your relationship with her and you've got it right. Just spend time talking. Share each other visions. Share deep things from your heart. Once you have the relationship right, you would have won your girl member's heart over.

On the other hand, to win a guy's heart, is simply entirely different matter. While girls are relationship-based creatures, guys are responsibility-based creatures. Guys respond to responsibilities entrusted to them. As a leader, you can spend a lot of time with a guy, but that doesn't mean he will rise up. The only way to cause him to rise up, is to help him garner achievements.

While most girls derived their identities from relationships, most guys' identities are derived from achievements.

Give a guy responsibilities, and help him do it well. Believe in him. A guy doesn't need you to spend so much time with him. He just needs your words of affirmations and your trust in him. A guy won't admit he needs help when it comes to solving problems. Offer subtle or behind-the-scene help to him. Make him look good when he gets things done. Praise him. Encourage him. Tell him he did a great job. Do all these and you'll be able to secure a faithful guy assistant in your team.

The surest way to destroy a guy's self esteem is to ridicule him or make him look stupid. Every man's greatest needs are words of affirmation and admiration. Tell him enough times that he's bad in what he does, he'll prove you right. Complain to him enough times why is he not like other strong guys, and he'll prove you right.

Here's the principle to win a guy's heart. If you make him feel good about himself, he'll go all out to make you feel good about yourself. In leadership terms, if you believe in a guy and make him feel great about himself, he'll lay down his life to run your vision.

If you are a girl team leader and you have guys under you, and you find it hard to get your guy's support, you have to remember one thing: If you can make a guy feel good about himself, he'll be sold out to you.

Ok then you ask me, how to make a guy feel good about himself? Here are two simple practical steps.

1. Ask his opinions on important matters. Respect his opinions. Get him involved in decision-making process. This way he'll feel important.
2. Praise him on achievements. Make him look good in front of others. Create a 'responsible man' identity of him in front of other team members. He'll live up to your expectations of him.

What if you give him responsibilty but he refuses or he's not confident enough to take it? Well, don't just chuck him into a pool of responsibility and expect him to swim by himself. Navigate together with him until you're confident he can take it on his own. When he does well, praise him.

For example, a guy member of mine needs to prepare a short 5-minute message. I come in to help him provide good pointers and good advice. Through the advice, he does well for his message presentation. Well, as the leader, praise him in front of everybody and make it look like everything is his effort. That will boost his self-confidence a lot. Suddenly, you realize next time you want him to do another 5-minute speech presentation, he's more confident in himself because you've helped him once. In a way, he did rise up!

Vote me for Nescafe Scriptwriting

2009-09-14T16:24:00.002+08:00

I wrote a script for Nescafe and have been selected as the Top 100 Finalists for their Scriptwriting competition.

Here's my link.
http://www.kickstart.com.my/chillLah/participant/nickey

You might need to register first before you can vote.

Please vote for me. Voting period will end on 7th October. It's a one-vote-per-day basis, so basically if you are able to vote once everyday till 7th October, the higher chance of entering finals...haha.

If I get high enough votes, I will be selected to enter the Top 20 Finalists and will be required to do a 3-minute trailer advertisement for the final round. It sounds exciting.

Your support will be very much appreciated :)

Thanks.

Guilt - How Do We Respond To It?

2009-08-15T19:48:00.004+08:00

Guilt is a very dangerous thing that can drag you down once it has a grip upon you. When you felt you wronged somebody and have not been the best of friend to that person, it eats you up alive.

Here's a few scenarios:

- Your superior asks you to accomplish something, you did it, but you overlook a detail and end up in some big trouble.
- Your friend asks for your help. But you failed to deliver your help.
- Your superior thinks highly of you, until you make a mistake that makes him think otherwise.
- You are in pursuit of someone you like. And the person thinks because you did something, you are no longer worthy of pursuing her love.

What is our usual response?

We wallow ourselves in self-pity with all the "What if I've done it the other way around?" or "I shouldn't have done things that way."

We bury ourselves in deep regrets.

We feel as if the other person's good impression towards us is destroyed.

Some people let guilt affect their friendships. Some people let guilt affect their self-confidence and self-esteem.

But let me say something.

As long as you're living on this planet, you cannot escape from disappointing people.

Bill Cosby says, "I don't know the key to success. But I know the key to failure is to try to please everybody."

Know how to be strong in setting your personal boundaries. Otherwise, people can easily have control your lives by using guilt to manipulate you.

"I didn't know a person as good as you can behave in such a manner."
"You're so not a gentleman."
"You don't care about us at all."
"You shouldn't have done that thing. It's inappropriate."
"You can't even provide for me. What kind of boyfriend are you?"

The key to tackle this is to know who you are. Never let people's words degrade your self-value.

Be firm with yourself. Sometimes other people have no intention of guilt-manipulating us, but we imprison ourselves in our own jail of guilt.

Move forward fast. We learn from mistakes and we try not to repeat them again. Don't dwell on a same mistake, but just move on.

And remember one thing -- as long as you're breathing on this planet Earth, you are bound to disappoint people sometimes. And people are bound to disappoint us. If we allow ourselves to be limited and stunted because of the raging guilt within us, who are we to blame when we get stuck in our life's journey?

Learn to let go. Be cheerful. Don't take things so seriously. Smile. Go out and enjoy the friendships you have. Go do the things you like. Be glad that you're alive.

Once you stop taking life so seriously, you will realize that life can be very beautiful indeed!

Are You Outgoing or Are You An Achiever?

2009-08-12T14:55:00.007+08:00

Back in the school days, there are always two types of popular students -- the OUTSPOKEN ones and the SMART ones.

The outspoken students -- you notice them because of their exuberant personality. They are good talkers, they are confident, they are party people, they are loud, they are the class jokers, they are naturally popular, they attract people merely by their outgoing personality.

The smart students -- usually they are the quiet and unassuming ones. They prefer to mind their work than to over-socialize meaninglessly. They live by the motto -- "The performance of my exam results will speak for me."

These two personalities are very contrast in nature. Usually, on a normal day, people would take notice of the outspoken students more. Because they talk a lot and they are always seen.

Because smart students generally can be pretty quiet and usually mind their own business. Nobody notice smart students at first. But when their exam results are out, wow...man! Their top-scoring results spread like wildfire around the teacher's office, to other classes, and to other schools as well. From a nobody, suddenly they become a somebody. (If you're studying in a guy school, you'll become popular in the next-door girl school in no time.)

Even today in the corporate world, these rules still apply. You are either known for your outgoing personality or you are known for your achievements.

Outgoing personality -- you're so fluent in your talking. You have connections with people in high places. You can just waltz right into your boss' office and chit chat with him, while all your colleagues wow at you and think, "How did this guy do that?" Because you're so good in your connections and networking, you basically move up the ladder faster than most of your colleagues. You live by the motto, "It's not about WHAT you know, it's about WHO you know."

Achievement personality -- you must be able to bear being low-key in your community for a period of time until you did something that is worthy of everybody's attention, that is worthy of your superiors noticing you. At the end, you may not have a good-talking skills and outgoing personality to help you get ahead in your life. But hey, once you can weather through the dry season of 'nobody noticing you' for quite some time, once you have results under your belt, you suddenly shoot up like a rising star. Peers and superiors begin to take notice of you. Your glorious DAYs have finally arrived!

I think most of us have both of these traits in our personality. But I'm sure we have one which is more dominant. As for me, I think I have more of the Achievement Personality, ingrained in me ever since I was a schoolkid -- a quiet little boy who was always doing his own work in the class, the only time people knew him was when the exam results were out!

So what kind of personality are you? Are you OUTGOING or are you an ACHIEVER?

Leadership is Journeying Life Together With Your Team

2009-08-02T20:09:00.005+08:00

I know I've been receiving a lot of comments asking me to write more about relationships. Man...I checked the last date of my previous post. Have I been taking a break from blogging for so long?

Guess the Campus Night really took up entire of my July. But nevertheless the Campus Night was a success! Our forecast reported only 150-200 people, but we exceeded expectations by getting 266 people, with 57 new nurse friends from the acclaimed Nursing College of Assunta. Pastor loves the drama a lot and as what Shirley Boon told us, "We really exceed expectations with the big day!" Good job to everyone who plowed hard to make this a success! Love you Campus Outreach team!

So today my post will sidetrack a little from my usual relationship posts to focus a little on leadership.

A mantle of leadership has been placed upon me to lead a team of people. My zone leader, Shaohen told me, "First thing within the first few months, you need to spend a lot of time with your core team. There must be a relationship between you and them."

I asked, "How often do I need to spend time with them?"

He replied, "Twice a week, if possible. If you are busy, keep it to once a week."

So I took that strategy and immediately acted upon it.

I want my team to be like a family...

...where people can come and draw STRENGTH from.
...where people feel ACCEPTED and BELONGED, where they don't have to fake themselves to gain each other's approval.
...where people can feel INSPIRED to become a BETTER person.
...where we can ENCOURAGE and CHEER on for each other as we walk through this journey of life.

So the group's direction is pretty in sync with what Pastor Kev was recently teaching. He said, "You can't treat your group members like members. You have to treat them as your friends. You have to journey life together with them."

Leading a group of people is not about telling them, "I'm the leader and you'd better best respect and listen to me."

Sometimes, respect is naturally earned when you don't even ask for it...

Being a leader is about adding value to your followers' life. Do the people under you become better because they are with you? Do they learn things? Do they rise up to become better leaders because you trust in them?

It's not about doing...it's about being.

Relationship should always precedes ministry.

As what Pastor Kev teaches, our members are not tools or instruments for us to get higher attendance, or to get things done.

I told my core team that I want us to be knitted closely like a family. Be honest and open with one another.

The thing is...if we can't be comfortable even within our own group, don't even dream of adding more new friends into our loop.

And I want the people under me to look to me as a friend. Whenever they are around me, we can talk about anything under the sun. It doesn't always have to be formal work matters. But we can laugh and joke and talk nonsense. At the right time, they can always share the matters of their hearts with me -- things that make them sad, matters that they need help with.

At the same time, aside from being a friend, I want to be able to inspire them to do more with their lives. It's my desire to see them live to the fullest of their potential. Will they be with me forever? Probably one day they might have to travel down another path and we might have to part ways. But as for this season we're together, I want them to be able to rise up to be historymakers and be great people in their own ways. I want them to have good memories and life-lifting experience.

And being a person with so many responsibilities at hand, usually there are so many things and worries running in my head. I'll have to manage and handle my stress & emotions well in front of them. Once I was going over to meet my core team for some eat-out plan and I was really bogged down with some problems. While driving over to the eating place, I kept telling myself, you got to choose to be positive. So true enough, when I met them later, I chose not to exude any single signs of stress, but just continued to make our gathering fun and happy. At the end, everybody just had a good time.

This reminds me of our dear Pastor Kevin who during every leader's meeting, sometimes have a lot of things and worries in his mind, but without fail chooses to stay uplifted and inspire us as how a true leader does.

How positive and uplifted your members are depends on how positive and uplifted you are as their leader...

If the leader exudes stress all the time, then the members will be pressured and stressed constantly. They will lose their joy...

If the leader plays favoritism among his members, then the they will fight and compete among each other.

If the leader works his members like crazy but doesn't bother to build a relationship with them, they will feel used.

If the leader doesn't trust in his members' potential, then the members will live under the restriction of their leader's belief.

If the leader doesn't accept the members because sometimes they make mistakes, then the members will feel unaccepted and unloved.

If the leader doesn't protect his members, then who else will?

Leadership is really all about believing in people. It's all about journeying together with them to achieve the purpose which God has destined us to do. In the process, it's really all about creating good memories together and uplift one another so that we can be better people, living up to our call of destiny.

So How Do You Attract The Guys?

2009-06-14T14:52:00.003+08:00

I was yet having another interesting conversation with a lady friend of mine. She claimed that a potential guy thinks she's always so emotional.

Here's the question:
Is it wrong for a girl to pour out her emotions to a guy?

If you want to attract a potential guy, my advice is...DON'T DO IT TOO EARLY IN THE FRIENDSHIP!

As a girl, the key is always to present your strength to him first. Let him know you as the STRONG, STEADY, INDEPENDENT, CAPABLE lady. First impression is very important! A potential guy must first see the strengths of a lady before he can find out about the weakness.

It is impossible to get to know somebody without sharing the content of your heart out. But how does a girl do it without being looked upon by the guy as emotional?

Approach the guy and ask his opinions about the situation.

Statement #1
"Hey, there is scenario in my office, where my colleague is doing something funny in the office. She talks bad about the boss, but the boss still rewards her for her performance. (bla bla bla) What do you think I should do?"

Comment: In statement #1, you don't input of any of your emotions into it. To the guy, it is just another difficult situation. Ask for his advice. Ask for his opinion. When you do that to any guy, he will feel valued for having to offer his advice. Especially when he offers good counsel, and you appreciate him for that, that will really score points with him.

Here's another similar statement but with too much emotions in it.

Statement #2
"Hey, there's this colleague who is doing funny things in the office. Yet the boss rewards her for her performance and I'm overlooked in the evaluation. I feel so cheated. I feel so depressed. How come the world is so unfair??? I wish I could quit my job and work elsewhere."

Comment: In statement #2, if you say such emotional statements too early into your friendship, 80% chances he might think you're just problematic.

Remember, first impressions are very important. Girls don't want to present themselves as too emotional. And guys want to see the girls as someone who are strong and steady in their emotions.

For the early part, that is...

In the later part after some time, if both the girl and guy have grown much closer, then it is alright for the girl to share her heart out. After all, honesty and communication are important in a relationship. The guy might probably think, "Wow...she's such a strong and steady girl. And yet she still have problems. Let me be the one to help her out." The guy will feel privileged to offer help to the girl in her problem-solving. That's because he has already known her well...

But the ultimate question remains...

How do girls attract potential guys in the first place?

Some girls do it very naturally, some girls don't...

The girl has to present herself as warm, open and inviting, if she wants the potential guy to notice her.

Make sense, doesn't it?

If a girl always sends signals that she is fierce, formal, serious, unfriendly and indifferent, she practically makes herself invisible in the guy's radar.

No guy wants to approach an unapproachable girl.

Smile. Be friendly. Be fun. Don't always be absorbed/engrossed in a work or task. Initiate conversations. Take the first step.

Some girls have this "I'm busy...don't disturb me", "I'm not in a mood to talk" faces.

Some girls have this "I'm happy. Come and talk to me" face.

It's really up to the girl how she wanna portray herself.

But what if some girls say, "But I'm not supposed to be the one who approach the guys. Guys should make the first step."

When I say first step, I'm not referring to asking a guy out for dinner or date or movie. When I say first step, it means maybe initiating conversation or little gestures of friendship.

Start the conversation first. SMS first. MSN first. Etc...

Guys are basically response-oriented creatures. When they see a girl taking the first step, it shows initiative on the girl's part. And most guys will take the baton from there.

The key is to initiate the first step and let the guy take over from there.

Some girls are not accustomed to knowing how to make a guy feel good.

Well, here's the principle:
If you want to attract a guy, you have to know how to make him feel good about himself.

If you are a girl and you're reading this, you could either agree with me or you might probably think I'm crazy.

What??? How can a girl be the one in making a guy feel good? The guy is supposed to be the one doing all those!!!

Let me show you why.

In a friendship, when she knows how to make him feel good about himself, he'll keep coming back to her for more.

Smile. Be fun. Tease each other. Talk about interesting things. Find common topics to discuss about. Laugh at each other. Be casual. Be relax. Be playful. Encourage him. Praise him. Admire him. Respect him. Make him feel happy.

When a guy feels good about himself around you, he will feel good about you.

If a girl keeps doing that on a regular basis, before you know it, he's already fallen under her spell. He's addicted to her being around. He can't go through days without thinking about her. He needs another dosage of her fun and enthusiasm. Ultimately, he's hooked to her and he can't let himself off from that emotional high.

When that happens, girls, you have already have the power in your hands. He's all out for you and basically will do anything just to be with you. Now, aren't you like Cleopatra when she holds Julius Caesar under her spell?

The guy must be able to associate happiness and fun with you.

Some married men complained that their wives changed totally after they got married. Before they were married, their wives used to be very nice and sweet. That's because before they were married, she used to always make him feel good about himself. But after marriage, all that stops...

Some girls have this 'natural' ability to make guys around them feel stupid like a kid. I don't know how they do it. But if the guys feel stupid or like a kid when they are around that girl, bad news...they will not come back again. One mother in life is enough!

And some girls have this lazy, indifferent expression. The guy ask her a question. She answers one word. He asks another question. She answers another one-liner. So formal!!! How wor???

I remembered a scenario where I was trying to initiate a conversation with an ex-colleague of mine. I asked her happily, "Hey hi! How's your work been?" She said in a complaining tone, "Can you not always ask about my work?!"

I was trying to strike a conversation with her. She replied with such unfriendliness. Suffice to say, I didn't bother to talk with her again.

Well, if a girl can make a guy feel good and great about himself, he will feel good about you. When he feels good about you, he will do things to make you feel good. It's a cycle, you see. In the end, both sides win.

The question "How come no potential guys notice me?" focuses more on you being timid, shy, unnoticed, low-profile, always waiting and hoping but never doing anything.

Why not focus on the question "How can I make potential guys notice me?"? By exuding qualities like friendliness, initiative, confidence, fun, enthusiasm, it doesn't matter whether a girl is introvert or extrovert. These qualities will draw guys to you like bees to honey.

Oh No...The Clock Is Ticking!

2009-06-08T00:06:00.002+08:00

I just had a conversation with a lady friend of mine. Suffice to say, it's an interesting talk and all of us have our concerns about this issue.

Why is it so hard for a believer girl 25 years and above to find a partner?

So here's the dilemma:

1st approach
A 25-year-old lady looks for a potential partner in the church. Her criteria...must love God, must be able to lead her, must be financially stable, and all the other usual stuff. Well, preferably somebody from the leadership team right?

Unfortunately, most of the older guys in the leadership team are either already attached or have their own targets. The few ones that are left (countable with fingers)...what are the odds that both of you might have sparks of chemistry?

Let's move on to 2nd approach.

2nd approach
Since guys of 25 years and above in the leadership team are no longer applicable, perhaps younger guys in the leadership team can be considered. But what are the chances of getting a younger guy? As a 25-year-old lady, you're already earning your income and imagine you want to like a guy whose only worries are assignments and exams.

Plus, guys in the leadership team are always looking for spiritual and godly ladies. What do you do if you happen to be not spiritual enough for their taste? Or maybe you're not outstanding enough?

My friend, Clement Chee once said, "In order for a girl to attract spiritual and godly man, they first must be godly and spiritual themselves."

Let's move on to 3rd approach.

3rd approach
Since guys from the leadership team are totally struck off, now let's look another alternative: Non-leader guys.

As a girl, you want somebody who can lead you, somebody who has the spiritual/mental maturity. Non-leader guys...but what if they are not good enough? What if their commitment isn't in the things of God? Does the girl have to lower her standard so much just to get herself a companion?

This is truly tricky indeed.

As a girl, do you mind to get together with a guy who is not as spiritually high as you?

Let's talk about the last 4th approach.

4th approach
When all three previous approaches fail, what do you want to do? There are a few things you can do:

1. Continue to live a single life and secretly waits.
2. Pray to God that one day the Mr Right will finally come, believing for the best.

Then suddenly, some non-believer guys find you attractive. They are financially stabilized. They are everything they need on this planet earth, except for a life companion. They know how to make you feel special, how to make you feel wanted, and to provide for you.

Everything in them seems so right...the chemistry, the financial support from their support, their constant affection....

But then you have a problem...

He's a non-believer!

According to your circle of friends, they don't share the same core values as you do, and if you ever get together with them, there might be troubles in life later.

But, this man feels so right...

What do you do?

The ideal solution is: Pray till he believes.

But what if he doesn't?

I have another strange point to reveal:

At the age of 20-23 years old for a girl, isn't it strange that many guys come after the girl? Yet, they get picky and decide that many of them didn't manage to meet their criteria at all.

Not spiritual enough. Don't have enough leadership. Not financial established. Do not fit my dream guy criteria. Not good looking enough.

At the age of 25-30, if the girl is still single, she then wonders where all the good guys went.

It's hard for people to meet when if you only meet your CG members, zone and ministry members. Throughout my years, I happened to notice that sparks and electricity fly during big event season.

I heard of a couple who knew each other while working for a drama production, and they got together.

I heard of a couple who knew each other and worked with one another during Emerge conference, and they got together. In fact, I knew a lot of people who fell in love during Emerge season...haha.

I heard of another couple who got to know each better during Community Care project, and they became a couple.

People need a channel to work together. Without a channel, they cannot meet, they have no common topics to talk, they have no opportunities to get to know one another.

It's freaky if a guy suddenly walks up to a stranger girl on one fine weekend service and said, "Hi...I want to get to know you." She might probably think if this guy is weird or a stalker, or both.

But somehow, if the same guy gets to talk to the girl in a more safer channel, then the friendship can grow from there.

In my opinion, events/programs are the best channel. Interactions between both parties must be encouraged, there must be interactivity.

People must be able to notice each other and get the opportunity to talk to one another. From there, only can the journey of friendship move on!

See The Bigger Picture

2009-05-19T13:05:00.004+08:00

Had a short but meaningful talk with David today. And before I forgot what he told me. I'd better blog it down first.

He told me, in order to be successful in life, there are two things you need to be:

1. Do things fast
- Don't be too laid back. Always try to speed up the way you can get things done. Eg. Eat faster, do things faster, drive faster, etc.

2. See things in the bigger context.
- When you're given a task, don't be too stuck on just what the task requires. Look at the bigger picture.
- Everything that you do is tied in to a bigger picture. Everything is connected. You have to visualise how things will be done when you are given a task. For his wedding, he said he already visualise all the reception, programmes, guests, ushering, etc. even before the planning starts. It all has to be in the head first in order for you to catch a clearer picture.
- Be street smart. Just because your task says, "Park the car here." Then you just blindly do what is told without knowing the whole picture.

Well, basically, it boils down to what Sarah had told me before. You can't be too task-oriented...only doing what is told.

I was sharing with some of my friends. Assuming you are in this situation. Your boss says, "Get 5 chairs." Ok, here's the tricky part.

Option A - Get 5 chairs and just that. Risk: If more chairs are needed, then you didn't foresee a problem.

Option B - Get more chairs. Risk: Spend more resources to get more chairs. If only 5 chairs are needed, then you waste your time and resources.

What do you do?

I think the answer lies in seeing things in the bigger picture, and you play your part to fulfill it.

An army general sees the entire battlefield and has to figure out tactics. A normal soldier only sees what is around him. But if as a normal soldier, you can see through the eyes of your general and meet the needs of the bigger picture, then promotion will come to you. Then you are really solving problems for your superior. You will be successful.

See things in the bigger picture. And know why you are doing certain things. Find ways to achieve better results.

Friendship that fades away...

2009-05-02T02:17:00.000+08:00

This morning I just had a weird dream. I dreamed that I was so disappointed with a friend that I literally didn't wish to talk to that friend. Then I woke up. It was not a good dream, suffice to say. I was thinking to myself...was my dream reflecting what I was feeling?

There is one mysterious question that puzzles me over and over:

How is it that two people that become so good friends can suddenly become so mechanical one day?

What happened to the great chemistry both used to have? What happened to all the quality time spent with one another? Don't tell me it all just disappears?

This is indeed a mystery I have yet to solve.

Yet sometimes I felt very tiring going back over and over again try to put my share into the friendship. If the other person is simply not interested in pursuing the friendship, then what's the point?

It hurts me deeply to let go of a friendship that's not growing. It hurts me even deeper to cling on to a friendship that has already stopped growing. In conclusion, I'm sorry...but don't we have to let go?

Sometimes, people are very weird. They claim to be your friends, but they don't do anything at all to show that they are.

Even more ridiculous...there are people who think you befriend them out of some ulterior motives. What are they thinking? How do you move on in such friendship? Come on, I can find more friends out there who know how to appreciate the friendship.

Have you ever felt that some friends befriend you only when you are a SOMEBODY? Who are those that stick with you while you are still a NOBODY?

Those that stick with you while you are still a NOBODY, is your TRUE FRIEND.

But unfortunately, not everybody thinks like that. Some people only wants to be part of your circle when you have achieved success big. If you approach them when you are still little, they think that you are not good enough for them. How shallow is that!

I was listening to Ps Seow How's message in the car on my way back from DASH wedding. He spoke about having apostle Paul having Demas abandoned him. But despite that, Paul still had a Luke who stayed with him. I will focus on the Luke around me, and not the Demas.

Never focus on what you don't have. Always focus on what you have. I will pour my heart to bless those friends who have always been faithfully together with me, knowing my shortcomings yet accepting me, seen me in my down times yet never despise me, simply enjoys the friendship just because we want to make each other happy.

Focus on who you have, not on those you don't have!

What do you see?

2009-04-26T00:27:00.000+08:00

Look at the picture below.

Do you see it as anti-clockwise or clockwise?

So when I found this picture, I gathered all my family members to study the picture.

Here's the funny part. While I saw it as clockwise, sometimes my mum saw it as anti-clockwise. Then I'll say, "It's clockwise." She'll insist, "No la...it's anti-clockwise. Can't you see it?" Once a while we agree with the direction. Then suddenly, she will say it's clockwise. But I saw it as anti-clockwise. I have to bring other family members like my bro and dad to support our claims. Strangely, everybody else saw different things at different time.

And each insists that they are RIGHT.

So I learn something from this experience.

Sometimes in life, the way of doing things are ambiguous. There are no fixed ways to approach a matter. What may seem to be right to some people may not seem right to another. What you believe is the way, other people may not think so.

But what do we do in this situation?

Do you always give in to the ways of the more dominant people? They request it to be done their way. You have no choice but to follow them even though you know your way is right too.

Or do you fight for your own opinions? Knowing that your way can work as well...

What do you do?

Work smart!

2009-03-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had an encounter with a person whom you respect a lot? And then after talking to that person, suddenly you feel enlightened. And before I forgot the conversation I had with Sarah, I'd better blogged this down so that I'll remember this for the rest of my life.

I was telling her the struggles one faces in the workplace. She told me something very significant. She said, "My dad used to tell me that every boss in the world dislikes employees who are task-oriented."

I was shocked at the statement at first. But aren't we supposed to do our task well?

She continues, "Task-oriented people are those - If the boss says 'Do A', then the employee only do A. This kind of employee will never go far in their life. They only know how to take orders. You shouldn't be order-takers. The right way to be will be, if your boss says 'Do A', you should present alternatives B, C and D as well."

"Always sit down and analyze the flaws of the company, and propose to your boss suggestions that can be done. Never mind if your idea is shot down. At least, you try."

In her previous job as sales, she basically worked one year before she finally received a proper assignment from her boss. For one year, she's been doing routinal jobs like filing and documentation. It's just sometimes the boss doesn't trust us enough yet to entrust us with greater things. Thus, it can take one year before you are finally entrusted with bigger things. Many people quit too soon within 6 months, thinking that there's nothing much to be done in the company. We shouldn't quit too soon, but keep on enduring.

So I asked her, "What if you are unsure of something and you wanted to ask your superior something? Wouldn't it make you look as if you don't know your stuff?"

She replied, "You gotta ask in a smart way. For example, don't go up to your superior and say, 'Can you explain to me A-Z how to do this?' Present two different extremes and ask for your superior's opinion, so it won't look as if you're not thinking with you brain."

“Always under-promise and over-deliver.”

"When you want to leave a company, think in terms of what value has the company added into your life."

Well, everything suddenly begins to make sense. Perhaps all these are things that really separate the good from the mediocre.

So it was a fun badminton night with Sarah, Leena and gang. Besides the physical sweating-out, I received principles in the middle of the badminton game.

So I told myself. Work hard and work smart!

Have you ever...? But...?

2009-03-04T18:49:00.001+08:00

Have you ever liked somebody so much, but you can't let the person know?

Have you ever wanted to hear somebody's voice, but yet you know you shouldn't call the person up?

Have you ever found yourself thinking about that somebody in the middle of the day? You wish to tell the person you miss her a lot. But you know you shouldn't tell. What if she doesn't share the mutual feeling?

Have you ever listened to some sentimental songs and it reminds of you of somebody? But yet, you know you shouldn't be thinking about that person. You need to focus on your work.

Have you ever felt restless when the somebody didn't reply your SMS? But you wonder, and you wonder, does the person appreciate your friendship?

Have you ever wanted to care and encourage that somebody when she's going through a stressful time? But does it really matter? Maybe your words are just another set of cliche liners in her ears.

Have you ever thought twice about pouring out your inner struggles to that somebody? But you refuse...because you don't want to burden that person with your problems.

Have you ever desperately want to hear that somebody's words of encouragement when you are down? But you can only hope...sometimes it never comes.

Have you ever wondered why that somebody treats you so nice in a certain season, and then suddenly turn cold towards you out of a sudden? You wondered if you have done anything wrong. And you yearn to return to the great chemistry both you once had.

In Jay Chou's words in his song, because you like somebody so much, sometimes the best way is to walk away quietly...

How your mind can affect the way you behave

2009-02-03T16:16:00.000+08:00

What you THINK is so, so important. Assumptions are bad, and shouldn't even be made. If you think the world is against you, you will behave as if the whole world is really against you. If you think the world loves you, then you will position yourself to receive love from the people around you. It's really a matter of what you are THINKING...

Much time has passed since I last blogged a few months ago. And throughout this period, I think there are much things I need to constantly remind myself. Anyway, in my vision board which we did in our final cell group led by Sarah, I did write these few things:

"I want to be a great communicator."
"I want to be a great influencer."
(Accompanied by pictures of Liu Geng Hong and Ps. Phil Pringles)

And here go some of the things which have been cycling over and over in my head:

Always be there for people when they need you. Sometimes in my busyness of pursuit of achievements, I tend to forget to care for friends who simply want my time to share their problems. There's one thought that came to my mind when they approach me for help: "What? Another problem again?" Should be a simple problem to solve. But little did I know they just want a listening ear. So one day, God threw a situation where I felt so vulnerable that I had to confide my deepest fears to a friend. Sure I was glad that my friend was there to listen to my ramblings till I finished talking. Takes one similar situation to know how it feels...

Always be yourself. How is it that some people are so cool and quiet, and yet they are very respected? How is it that some people are noisy and talkative, and they are liked as well? There is no rule in this world on how to behave. Should I be more talkative, or should I be more reserved? But no matter what, always choose to be yourself. Different personalities have different advantages, but you can't be everything...otherwise you'll suffer from multiple personality disorder.

Manage your expectations. I always have this funny theory that, when you want something badly, you don't get it. And when you are not even thinking so hard about it, then you get it. Hmm...strange world, isn't it? I still remember those day when I used to take Chinese class tuitions back in primary and secondary school. I used to love to aim for 100% in test, but never seem to get it. Then during my final term in the Chinese class, I was more caught up with school activities back then and wasn't paying so much attention to my test as well, but surprisingly I got 100%. And then, there are some things in life where you wish to get it so hard, it just eludes you. So what's the conclusion here? Don't aim for anything? Be contented for what you have, and set no goals? Hmm...I honestly think we should just underproject something less than our expectation, then you'll have chances of overachieving it. Don't aim for something too high up or unrealistic, that when you don't achieve it, you feel bad.

Always look outward, not inward. The day we look inward and wonder why things are not working fine, blah blah blah...that's when we doom ourselves into a cycle of depressing thoughts. Look outward, look forward to great opportunities out there, and you will be a happier person. Have a dream bigger than yourself.

Return to the basics. Be humble. Be eager to learn. Never act as if we've known everything. The fact is we're not.

Learn not how to hook your happiness upon somebody else. I think this may be the biggest and the toughest challenge of all, since humans are pretty much relationship-oriented beings. It is said that 85% of your happiness comes from your relationship with others. It's true that we have to maintain and build good friendship with those around us. But to come to an emotional overdependancy on certain friendships can be unhealthy. It's like allowing others to control our moods. They treat us well, we become happy. They didn't shower us with enough attention, we feel incomplete. Is it the best way to live by? We have to learn how to be emotionally independant.

A historical moment of LIFE...

2008-11-08T23:09:00.001+08:00

We had a mock pledge for Arise & Build two days ago in cell. To put it simply, I think my amount was simply not faith-filled enough.

This morning after water baptism at 3K, Sarah sat me and Leena down at a nearby kopitiam and began to challenge us to give more for Arise & Build. She threw two amounts to me: Amount A, and Amount B. Amount A is reasonable and safe amount for a working adult like me to pledge. Put it this way, if I pledge Amount A, I would wake up the rest of my life as if it's just another normal day. Safe path...

Then she said, why not amount B (which is 2.5x more than amount A)? Trust me, if you're any normal working guy who just came out and worked in the working world...amount B is like...you could a lot of things with it. I looked at her, I wrote amount B on a white paper...and put a question mark (?) beside the amount. She laughed and said, "It's up to you." I thought for a moment, and felt I should settle for amount A instead. Just to play safe...anyway, amount A is quite a big amount too.

And the night comes...when Pastor Kevin challenges us to give our best for Arise & Build, I was almost wanting to pledge amount A, when a sudden faith surged in me. It's those kind of faith which only people like David got when he went out to fight Goliath. A thought came to my mind. Why not pledge amount B?

I think I ate too much porridge for lunch. Amount B? Serious? But God, amount A sounds much reasonable and more wisdom-filled. If amount A, sure can fulfill one. But if amount B, got risk what if I can't fulfill that much amount? But God told me that He would provide ways, and asked if I should trust Him. I said, I would love to do something for you that would require to step into my FAITH zone.

And so I wrote the Amount B on the pledge card. I knelt down and prayed before God, now that I have laid out my commitment, I must do whatever I can to fulfill it. There's no turning back. I don't want to end up with unfulfilled pledge. I must do whatever I can to fulfill that amount.

Have you ever prayed a prayer like, "God, if you don't come through for me, I don't know how else I can do it?" Yes, that was exactly the same thing that happened to me. Then I realised, faith pleases God, without faith it is impossible to please God. And God loves to challenge us to do things which has never been done before, to challenge us to step into the realm of FAITH.

I remembered the last time when I had this scary but faith defining moment when I was chosen to lead Local U cluster. And even greater faith is required when I set a gold medal target for my cluster to achieve. Ever since after Emerge, it just felt as if life really slowed down a lot. Everything is back to comfort zone.

And now God is asking me to step out of the boat again...

Now I will require all the faith that I need to fulfill the amount...

Are we able to do the impossible? Only when we step out in faith to do what God wants us to do...then only will we achieve it.

The journey has just begun...

Villains

2008-11-03T12:15:00.001+08:00

I know it's been quite some time I didn't post. But this morning, I was just reading some forum comments about Heroes and why some people liked it and why some don't. Suddenly, it came across my mind. In order for a show to be very interesting, one needs to have a very strong villain. Not cheesy villain, but a villain who is original and intimidating.

Here's my list of villains in movies and TV shows whom I think deserve to be recognized:

1) Magneto (From the cartoon, movie, comics "X-Men")

Magneto is truly one of the classic villains. I first saw him in the animated TV series and he grew to become one of my favourite villains of all time. Why is he so interesting?

Magneto dreams to see a world where superpowered mutants rule the world. So he gathers evil mutants and seeks to conquer the world. But he's not the typical 'conquer the world' mutants. He sides with the mutants because of the discrimination mutants receive. Afterall, somebody needs to protect the mutant race from being exterminated, and he fights for his kind, of course in a violent way.

When placed head-to-head against Professor X, sometimes you can get very sympathetic of why Magneto behaves the way he is. Of why he hates normal humans. The best moments are when Magneto allies with the X-Men to fight against common enemies, but he usually reverts back to their enemies when the alliance is over.

Reason why he is such a favourite villain: Magneto has a tormented past where he suffered under the reign of terror of the Germans during World War II, which led him to want to dominate the world to prevent the same thing from occurring to the mutant race.

Rating: 4.5/5

2) Sylar (From the TV show "Heroes")

I preferred Sylar in the first season rather than the subsequent seasons. Sylar first appeared as a psychopath killer who goes around killing people with superpowers just to absorb their abilities into his own. He's frighteningly freaky, as he usually appears in shadows, wearing his baseball cap. When he appears, usually it's BAD NEWS!

One of the best moments was when Matt Parkman went against him, firing a few shots of bullets on Sylar, who somehow mysteriously survived. Not only that, Sylar jumped away and escaped the policeman. Scary, isn't he?

And then Sylar proceeded to kill innocent people like Charlie, a sweet-looking waiter girl whom Hiro desperately tried to save.

The climax comes when Sylar wanted to kill Claire the cheerleader during homecoming. Hence, the slogan "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World". And how Sylar appeared with his dark shadowy baseball-capped figure is truly frightening.

However, when we began to see Sylar's real face, the next best moment would be the time when he killed one of the favourite casts Isaac Mendez, an artist that paints the future. Sylar then proceeded to acquire a radioactive nuclear power which he could release and detonate the entire Manhattan city. Another best moment is when he stood on top of a skyscrapper, playing with the nuclear power he had in his hands, with that psychotic grin in his face, looked at the city and said, "Boom!"

Reasons why he is such a favorite villain: He's so evil that he kills so many of the regular casts of Heroes. Plus, he's got this psychotic look!

Rating: 5/5

3) Gaius Baltar (From TV show "Battlestar Galactica")

Gaius Baltar was the man responsible for the destruction of mankind at the hands of the robotic Cylons. Baltar was not an outright villain, but he was portrayed in the show as a self-serving man who cared nothing bout the welfare of the people around him. All he cared was he, himself and Baltar. And I believed that was the drama of the whole show, trying to prevent himself from being exposed as the man who was behind mankind's destruction.

Somehow, Baltar was a brilliant and charismatic scientist, who soon became the President of the Colonies by toppling President Roslin. He was not the typical cruel and wicked villain we see in the movies, but somehow many people always helped him and sympathize him. Thanks to the performance of James Callis, this character soon became one of the most self-centered villains that ever existed.

Reasons why he is such a favorite villain: He's brilliant. He's charismatic. Nobody knows his self-serving agenda. But yet people always believe him. He claims himself to be someone who just wants to survive and help mankind. But really, he's just a person who put himself first above everyone else.

Rating: 4/5

4) Agent Smith (From the trilogy "Matrix")

Agent Smith is the archnemesis of Neo in the movies "Matrix". What made him so good is that you always find him around to kill Neo. He can be defeated many times, but he's always up again to hunt Neo down. He's got this serious looking robotic face. Reminds me of Terminator.

Reasons why he is such a favorite villain: A villain who tries to destroy everything in the Matrix world. He's so determined to kill Neo and whenever you hear him calling Neo "Mr. Anderson", you know something bad is going to happen.

Rating: 4/5

5) Benjamin Linus (From the TV series "Lost")

Benjamin Linus really brings the concept of villainy to another level. A master of manipulator, he always 'have plans' and no matter what he does, he always gets his ways in the end. You do not know if you should view him as the main villain or character trying to help the Oceanic survivors. And he doesn't even 'blink' his eyes when he's talking, literally.

And the best part about him, he says one thing, everybody believes it, and but in the end, it turns out to be a trickery. Next, they would capture him, but even as a prisoner, he knows how to dangle the carrot in front of his captors to manipulate them to his own likings.

Reasons why he is such a favorite villain: The greatest manipulating villain of all. Sometimes he helped the good guys, and sometimes he had got a secret agenda up his sleeves. Truly, nobody knows what Ben is thinking about.

Ratings: 5/5

6) Zuko (From the animation "Avatar")

Zuko started off in the series as the villain that wanted to capture the Avatar. But he's the one character in the show that undergoes the greatest amount of character development. Filled with hatred and anger all the time, the motivation behind his villainous actions is because he wanted to gain the honour of his even-badder father.

However, as the seasons go by, Zuko slowly transformed into a better person. Constantly confused if he should side with his evil family, finally he chose the right path and decided to help the Avatar defeat the ultimate villain, his father.

Reasons why he is such a favorite villain: Despite being the villain of the show, you see him having his human side. The reason he turned villain is because he was burnt by his father, for wanting to protect innocent lives from being sacrificed. And by the time, he switched sides to help the Avatar, you almost wanted to cheer for him because he's gone through so much pain just to redeem his own soul.

Rating: 4.5/5

7) Joker (From the latest Christopher Nolan's "Dark Knight")

I think the only reason why I like this version of Joker is because he's performed by the late Heath Ledger and this one is so dark...so dark! He's there to put all the morality issues of Harvey Dent and Batman into chaos. And the way he explained the origin of his scarred mouth "Why so serious?" really sent a shivering chill about his tormented childhood.

He constantly puts the heroes in a position to choose who to rescue, and ultimately resulting in Harvey Dent turning into the evil Two-Face.

Reasons why he is such a favorite villain: His dark and grim portrayal. His ability to kill and destroy in a jokingly manner and he turned the entire heroic acts of a noble Harvey Dent upside down. One of the few villains to successfully turn a good guy into a bad guy.

Rating: 4.5/5

A No-no Villain

There are a few things a good villain should be:

Be threatning enough. A good villain must be able to cause the good forces to lose. A good villain must be able to cause disorder to an orderly society. A good villain must be threatening. A good example would be Sylar (Heroes), Joker (Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight) and Agent Smith (Matrix).

Must get dirty. The typical villains who does nothing but sit at their thrones/offices and send their 'konco' to do all the dirty work. A good villain must be the one doing all the dirty work that earns them that villainy title.

Must have a strong motivation behind his villainy. Gone are the days when you have a villain (like those found in earlier James Bond movies) where they want to conquer the world for the sake of conquering the world. A villain won't view himself as the enemy. Usually he's sort of like a hero, in his own eyes. A villain must have a good reason why they turned evil and why they do the things they do. If the viewers can sympathise with the villain, then the villain is definitely a strong one. A good example would be Magneto (X-Men) and Zuko (Avatar).

Must be intelligent. Nothing turns me off than seeing a no-brain villain. A no-brain villain basically gets defeated very stupidly. A villain who is smart enough to know how to manipulate their ways around is deemed as a strong villain, someone to be reckoned with. A good example would be Benjamin Linus (Lost) and Gaius Baltar (Battlestar Galactica).

Blood and sweat...

2008-06-19T16:04:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I ponder to myself...is it worth killing ourselves just to get things done? Sometimes we put tremendous pressure on ourselves, more than other people really expect of us. We say, we'll get something done, and we go all the way just to get it done, even if it means killing ourselves.

19 June, 4am - I woke up on the bathroom floor. Multiple drops of blood stained the floor. I can't remember what happened. Why am I lying on the floor? I tried to pick myself up. I felt weak. I wondered where all those blood came from. I looked at the mirror. To my horror, my entire face was dripping with blood on the right side of the face. (To be continued...)

Interesting story, isn't it?

Ever heard of the story of a man who works his health away to gain wealth, and then at the end of the days, he used his wealth to gain his health back. Sometimes, we wonder how silly can people get in pursuit of success. But sometimes we do it ourselves.

We need to know our own physical limits. Can we take more tasks? Can we pick up more responsibilities? Learning to say NO sometimes can very powerful. There is already one Messiah in the world, we don't need to be another one.

Here's the 2nd part of the story...

19 June, 5am - Doctor saw the wound and remarked, "Oh my God!" I don't know if it's professional for doctors to give these kind of remarks while operating on the patient. My dad asked, "How many stitches, doctor?" Doctor replied, "5 stitches. Might need another one more. Wound is so deep." So ta-da...6 stitches on the right eyebrow! (End)

Another interesting story, isn't it? Suffice to say, it's not FICTIONAL...

Lessons to learn from the 2 mini-stories above:

Take life easy and balanced. Sometimes we overwork ourselves just to get a project done, and then tell ourselves, "We can recuperate after the project is done." But sometimes this will end up sapping more of your energy than anything else. I would rather we work in a balanced and consistent manner. No overworking, no overlazing. But balanced all the way. Rest when you need to.
Learn to relax. Don't take everything in this life so seriously. The world won't stop spinning if we make mistakes or if we didn't achieve what we want.
Don't overfocus on one area of your life and neglect another. In another words, it still deals with living a balanced life. We cannot compartmentalize our areas of life, because everything is interlinked together. And the ultimate thing that holds it all is our health. Lose our health, lose everything. Protect your fitness and health at all costs.

Ah well, I guess sometimes we learn it the hard way along the way. But honestly, it's better to learn it earlier now, than to learn it later in life, where health circumstances could be far worse by then.

As we pursue our dreams and goals in life, let's learn to live a balanced and relaxed life at the same time. You'll find life to be more beautiful...

Journey of a Cluster Leader - Part 2

2008-06-07T20:04:00.000+08:00

Honestly speaking, do you know sometimes I got panic attack right a few hours before service? Ok lah...panic attack sounds very ER term. Nervous would be the word.

Ok, let's do it again. Do you know sometimes I got nervous a few hours before service? Well, sometimes the thought of going up in front of your almost 100 cluster members to speak, it can be daunting. So many things will run through your mind. Have I memorised what I need to say? Is the cheer team prepared to cheer the right thing? How will the crowd response be? What if my voice got drowned by other clusters' chant? I think the answer to the last question I discover, would be to stand calmly and wait till they finished chanting..haha.

By throughout the course of being a cluster leader for almost 2 weeks, there are a few things which I learn so far. So here goes:

Always ASK, ASK and ASK. The greatest learners in life are those have the initiative to ask. I can't stressed how much I've learned just by asking feedback/advice from people who had done it before. My greatest teachers: My core committees. Lee Choo. Heng. Leena. Sarah.
Early preparation is the key to success. It's always good to prepare what you want to do ahead of time. Last minute preparation drains energy and emotion. Not advisable, when it comes to a large-scale event like Emerge.
Always COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE and COMMUNICATE. I think I lost count of all the phone calls I made individually with Sixuan, Kevin, Xin Hui and Francis, not to mention the mails to Lee Choo and my committees. I would say, communication is the only way you can let people capture your vision.
Always be POSITIVE no matter what. Sometimes, a chant during the cluster gathering goes wrong. Sometimes, you call for a meeting and not many turned up (but thank God for those who came). Sometimes, your people didn't give the full support which you expected. I would say, as a leader, there is a need to remain positive at all times. In other words, you got to be constantly smiling (not in a dopey of course) and be constantly motivated. I would say, it's a never-say-die attitude.
Focus on the GOAL ahead, RESULTS speak for itself. Being a people-oriented person, I have the tendency to like cheers and encouragements along the way to achieving your goals. But many times in life, it doesn't happen that way. People only cheer for you and congratulate you after you've reached your goals. So before you reach your goal, sometimes it can be a lonely journey which you have to cruise through alone sometimes. I still remember during the days when I first led my JB drama team to compete in Emerge Singapore 2007. Of course, when you first mentioned that you want to send a team to compete, not every people will pat you on the back and say, "Go on." Disinterest from the people, sometimes even your team members, will make you wonder whether if the goal is worth pursuing. But after you get some victories under your belt (which we won 2nd place), I would say, suddenly they recognise you as 'the drama director'. From now onwards, whatever plans you make for the drama team, suddenly people look up and listen to you more. Results have spoken for itself. We greatly earn people's respect after achieving the goals. Focus on the GOAL ahead, let RESULTS speak for itself!

So far, I would say, being a cluster leader is pretty exciting and fun at the same time. But of course, during the preparation stage, it's always the tedious. But once you settle a job, you feel like Rocky, like a champion. I would say, getting things done help boost your morale and also the team morale.

Let's make this year's Emerge a great experience!

Thus begins the great journey...

2008-05-28T01:40:00.001+08:00

It was 6pm. I received a phone call from Abel. "Nickey, you've just been promoted. You've been appointed as the Cluster Leader for Local Uni Emerge."

I replied, "Yes, no problem, Abel. Can do it!" But in my heart, I almost fainted.

Emerge is a huge mega-event organized by my church, attended by over a thousand people. To become a cluster leader is like someone walking up to you and say, "Man, you've just been appointed as the manager of Liverpool Football Club." I still need some time to digest it...

My first test comes during our first cluster meeting. Li Chu was the overseer in the meeting, so she started by saying her words. Since she was the overseer, I assumed that she would run the meeting. Then she looked at me and said, "Go on...talk to the people." Man...if I've never led cell group meetings before, I would have been speechless on the spot. So I talked to them, inspired like what a leader should do, said we should rise up like the tribe of Gideon! (It would be a good morale booster for now...but in the long term, the winning results would have to be the morale booster)

Also thank God for a sharp assistant, Xi Xuan, who told me things that needed to be taken care of and taken note of. Kinda reminds me of those days when I was always the 2nd man, whispering things to be done to my big boss, comfortable with being the man in the background. Little did I know that when you're the 1st man at the front, people literally looked at your every steps. In Sarah's words, "You need to rise up to the occasion."

I begin to ponder, what will my leadership strengths be? I've to admit, I'm not a very quick decision-maker, sometimes I get very indecisive easily. But my strength lies in planning in details, visions planning. I have no problems planning visions and goals for myself...but now I need to motivate others as well. God help me in this area!

So far, these are some of the tips which I get from Abel, Li Chu, Xi Xuan, Sarah, Francis etc. The great saints who have walked the path which I'm about to embark. Here goes:

Communication is important. Without it, information don't get passed on well. Communication breakdown is the worst form of leadership failure. There must be a constant channel where the members hear from the leader, be it through email, blog or anything.
There must be only one head. I need to establish myself as a leader whom others will see and follow. There can't be too many people giving orders. As a leader, I still need to make the decisions.
Being talented doesn't instantly earn you the respect. Respect must be earned through time, as you build the bond among your core and your members. Being bossy can overkill the situation. I need to watch out on this, as sometimes when I get stressed up, I can forget to filter my words.
Always plan ahead. My job as the cluster leader is to plan ahead. My assistant's job is to organize the details. In other words, I'm the architect, and Xi Xuan is the engineer.
Never do all the jobs by yourself. Learn to delegate.
Mobilizing people to join and support can be the hardest. But I believe if things are planned early, there should be no rush.
Bonding is important. There needs to be a strong core team first before you have a strong outside team.
In the words of Brian Tracy, people are motivated when they know what their job scopes are. Always give them clarity in their jobs and never leave them in the dark.
As a leader, you can't please everyone. The most important thing for me is to get the job done. RESULTS speak for itself! Many times in my life, I have to constantly remind myself of this. I'm a very people-oriented person. So I can influence people easily but the problem is I get influenced by other people's opinion as equally easy. I need to work on this.
Pastor Kev always says that creativity comes from one person, not a team. It's hard to mix-mashed a cheer out, but it's easier when it comes from an individual. Great ideas are not produced by a group of people. Usually one person comes out with it. Let's not play it hard by practicing democracy here.
Be the main motivator in your group! Never ever let your group lose motivation!

Other tips I found out by myself:

Don't smile unnecessarily, excessively and nervously during serious discussions.
Learn to be humble no matter what. Learn to lean on the experience of people who had walked the path before, eventhough they may be younger than you.
Communication with your leaders is important. Can't stress this enough.

I really pray for God's wisdom in taking up this cluster leader post. In Sarah's word, "Being a cluster leader is no joke." She's right. If I do it right, I can make it. If I do it wrongly, I'll crash and burn.

This is always my motto in life. "Focus on the goal ahead of you. Results speak for itself!" No matter what may other people think of you, achievements will usually speak for itself. It doesn't matter how great you talk, but once achievements roll in, it outshines everything else. How to be a good leader? No matter what happens, let's make this Emerge for the Local U a memorable one. It won't be an easy journey, but I refuse to be knocked down. I must go on till the very end, till RESULTS SPEAK FOR ITSELF!

How to be a REAL man...

2008-05-15T08:47:00.000+08:00

I was just browsing through my favourite motivational website and I found an interesting article about what it takes to be a real man. When I said real man, I'm not talking about being a good-looking-and-sweating-from-the-chest type of macho hunk. We're talking about real stuff. We're talking about a man who knows what he wants in life, will go forth and achieve the dreams of his heart.

Here's one of the interesting quotes from the website:

"A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people." -- Steve Pavlina

Check out Steve Pavlina's website on being a real man at http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/05/how-to-be-a-man/

A new phase of life...

2008-05-13T13:38:00.000+08:00

Being in new phase of life requires much adapting.

When you were in Standard Six, you feel like you’re on top of the world. You’re the biggest brother/sister in the whole primary school. Whenever the teacher needs help, they come look for you. You’re the hope of the school to score straight A’s for UPSR. All teachers will dote on you. Life was beautiful.

Once you enter Form 1, everything else changes. One year ago, you were the pride of the school. In Form 1, who are you? Nobody knows you, except for the fact maybe you scored straight A’s for UPSR. But to them, UPSR…big deal!

So you have to work your way to the top again. Score well in exams. Gain teachers’ favour. Perform well in aktiviti kokurikulum, kelab and persatuan. Sweep some posts during society AGM…

And finally you reach Form 5, once again, you’re like the big brother/sisters of the school. All your juniors look up to you. All teachers look to you for help because you’re the top prefects in school, club committees (presidents, vice presidents, secretary, treasurers, etc), monitors and blah blah. Whatever activities that go on, you’re the boss. Basically, you’re on top of the world. SPM is basically the greatest challenge mankind has ever faced, and you’re proud to be part of it.

Then finally after Form 5, comes another transition of life. As for me, I directly entered a local uni (skip the Form 6). Once again, you strut into university carrying your great experiences from the past. Under your belt, you hold the resume of achievements which perhaps the angels would stop whatever they are doing in heaven and smile upon you.

“I was once the president of so-and-so club.”

“I was the champion for the inter-school debate back in my district.”

“I scored 1___ (put any number other than 0) A1’s in my SPM.”

Basically, you’re the best tiger of your land. And in this new university, you come in contact with the other tigers from other lands, who happened to be the best in their respective hometowns.

During the first year of your uni, who cares about what you’ve done back in your Form 5? Basically, it’s a start over all again. You have to re-establish yourself once more. You studied hard. You scored well in tests. You strive for excellence in university activities. You make connections with many friends and lecturers, in hope you’ll graduate with a very good honours in your degree.

After five long years of toiling and labouring, you finally graduate. You are eager to come out and work. So you start off in your working world.

Once again, who cares if you’re the president of certain clubs in your university or who cares if you score straight A’s for every semester in your uni? These things are only good to help you get started, but in the long-term run of your career, they all fade into the background. What matters now is your current performance in your job place, no longer your past achievements.

So once again, the cycle of establishing yourself starts all over again. You got to work hard. You got to come with brilliant ideas that will contribute to the welfare of the team you’re placed in. You’ve got to flow well with every member of the team.

You’ve got to show your commitment. Excuses are no excuses at all.

You’ve got to show the best of your attitude. Being an underdog in this new environment, you have to bear with being unnoticed for a very long period of time. You work hard, you give your best and yet sometimes, people just don’t notice. Yet, you’ve got to put on the best smile on your face. Because one faulty attitude misconduct (eg. like complaining), and all that you’ve built for will be gone in a day.

I was watching Romance of the Three Kingdoms on Youtube during the weekend. It was an interesting show, watching how some of the heroes of war moved from nobody to become a somebody.

In the Three Kingdoms storyline, the main good guy is Liu Bei while the main bad guy is Cao Cao. Into the middle and end of the story, these two will become great warlords, with two out of the three mentioned kingdoms established by them. But in the beginning of the story, you will witness how these two men fought for acceptance when they first started out in their military career.

During one of the battles, the alliance of 18 warlords fought against the traitor Dong Zhuo. The traitor team had a powerful general named Hua Xiong whom, none of the generals from the 18 warlords could defeat. Two or three generals were sent against Hua Xiong, but each returned dead.

So Liu Bei’s brother, Guan Yu, volunteered to fight Hua Xiong. Some of the warlords scorned at Guan Yu because he was just an archer, not even a general. But true enough, Guan Yu managed to push through the opinions of the people, and won his battle against Hua Xiong. A mere archer defeating an enemy general. One of the warlords from the alliance even got upset because they sent an archer to fight the enemy general.

But well, that’s life. We have to learn how to overcome the opinions of people about you. People may think, you’re so arrogant to be making big plans, dreaming big dreams, you’re trying to gain popularity, and you’re self-centered.

But I believe that if God has placed within you a good dream, to achieve something that will benefit everybody around you, a dream which you can’t stop thinking every night, a dream that once realized, will bring you and the people around you to the next level, then never let the opinions of others hit you down.

I like what Ps Kong said when he mentioned that we should rise above the opinions of others. Draw strength and encouragement from great people around you, those who want to see you succeed. Do not hang out with people who pull you down.

This life is about making the world a better place to live in for other people. We’re placed here in part of this world to make good contributions. Our dreams must provide something of value to the people around us. Only then will we live a purposeful life.

Guard your well of self-esteem...guard it well...

2008-05-07T08:19:00.000+08:00

A healthy self-esteem is important. It's like the roots of a tree. Without the roots, a tree cannot absorb water, and therefore cannot bear fruits. But with healthy roots, a tree blooms into a beautiful oak, palm or coconut tree. (Ok...I know there's nothing aesthetic about a coconut tree...)

Sometimes, I felt guilt can do much harm to healthy self-esteem. Failure to live up to certain expectations of others. Failure to be there when they need you. Failure to fulfill the responsibilities they expect of you. And the guilt comes in and eat away your roots. Your tall tree comes tumbling down...

Low self-esteem fogs your mental eyes. When people talk to you, you feel as if people don't think right about you. The funny thing is the other person could just be talking to you like any normal day, but somehow you shut off yourself as if you've wronged them. But the problem is not with them, but with our mind.

Self-esteem is like a petrol tank. It constantly needs refilling. If you don't, it leaks, it vaporises, it dissipates. Before you know it, your tank is dry.

Every man and woman needs to feel great about themselves. They want to feel important, appreciated and most of all, that they can make a difference in this life (not just taking up oxygen space on planet Earth). Great things happen when people feel great about themselves. They set out to conquer new lands, to scale the mountains of impossibilities and to achieve the wildest dream they can imagine.

I had been reading Brian Tracy's Principle of Success for a while. His topic on Cultivating Self-Esteem used to pass my eyes, like a Klang boy getting used to seeing a muddy Klang river. But somehow today, it struck me. Like I said, our faith and self-esteem experience leak from time to time. We need to constantly refill our tank.

These are some of the interesting quotes Brian Tracy made in his book.

"People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you possibly can be."

"How much you like and respect yourself also determines the quality of your relationships with people. The more you like and enjoy yourself, the more you will like and enjoy others, and the more they will like you. In fact, when your self-esteem is hurt in any way, the very first thing that is affected is the way you get along with people."

How true is that! Self-esteem is like your glasses. When you wear a pair of dirty, scratched glasses, you think the whole world is tainted. Well, it's actually not. It's our glasses that make us see it that way.

Self-esteem must be maintained at a regular basis. Even the Bible teaches us to constantly renew our mind. Why is our mind so important? Because so as a man thinks, so is he. You become what you think you are.

Here are the six steps suggested by Brian Tracy to raise our self-esteem. Not in the exact quotes he said, but I will paraphrase them for better understanding:

Set big, challenging goals. Go forth and achieve them. You will feel larger than yourself. Anyway, if you don't have a goal, then I would say, there is no life in you at all. A famous motivational blogger, Steve Pavlina quoted, "If you don't take the time to get really clear about exactly what it is you're trying to accomplish, then you're forever doomed to spend your life achieving the goals of those who do." It makes sense a lot.
Like what you are doing. I'm speaking in terms of your career, the friends you mixed with and the big projects you're involved in. Don't sacrifice passion just to pursue more money. Because by the time you have money, your passion would have died off. In the word of Robert Kiyosaki, you're driven by the fear of not having enough money. We shouldn't live our life based on fear. Pursue your passion!
Gather your success experiences under your belt. In my opinion, when you have great resumes of achievements, it really boosts your self-confidence.
Be inspired with other successful people. Brian Tracy actually used the word 'compare'. I don't fancy the word 'compare' because it can suddenly turn into an unhealthy rat race, to see who has more friends, more money, more popular, more girls...blah blah blah. But learn and be inspired from people who have walked our paths and achieve success.
Get recognition from people whom you respect. When you're praised and recognized over your achievements by people whom you respect, your enthuasiasm will increase, really. In my life, I have a few leaders in my life who make me feel good about myself (eg. my KL cell Sarah, my JB cell leader Dan, etc). Hang around these people regularly, you'll love the energy they inject into your life.
Reward yourself after achieving your goals. Everybody deserves something to look forward to after you work so hard. What is the thing you like to do? Do it when you've achieved your goals.

You will realize that a man with high self-esteem is always a person with high goals and many achievements. I felt, they go hand in hand. It's hard to feel good, when you don't achieve anything at all in your life.

During my cell leadership training, David Oh mentioned that a healthy growing cell group must constantly reach out to new friends out there. If they don't, if they become too inward-looking, they will start picking on each other. But once they start looking outward, they begin to see beyond themselves and love others. I believe this applies in companies as well. Once a corporate company stops building outwards, they begin killing each other within their inner circle.

It is the same with us. If we do not have goals which is larger than ourselves, we'll constantly wallow in self-picking and self-pity. That's why people with no goals in life constantly slipped into depression easier than anybody else. Instead of focusing on "What goals can I achieve?", they will end up meditating on "What is wrong with me?".

How to have a good self-esteem? Go out and achieve things. Make things happen instead of waiting for things to happen. Be an initiator instead of a reactor. Make plans to achieve your dreams instead of complaining. Bless the people around you instead of waiting for people to make you feel good. Then you'll suddenly find that your life is indeed full of excitement and energy. Life suddenly becomes more purposeful and beautiful...

Chapter 1 - The story begins...

2008-04-29T09:56:00.000+08:00

This is only a portion of my Chapter 1. Have fun reading, and drop any comments if you have any. More stories to come...

Chapter 1

The 21-year old knight, Antonio Herdling touched the neck of the soldier to feel the pulse. Strangely, there was none. The soldier did not look dead, but certainly did not look alive either. Heartattack, perhaps? If only one soldier, perhaps that could be the cause. But the soldier had seven other comrades who shared the same fate. All died without signs of wounds. Poison, perhaps?

His friend, Marokk Dawn, a knight of the same age, tried to shut one of the dead soldier’s eyes but could not. “Antonio, I think we should get out of here as soon as possible. The way these soldiers died…is inhuman. We’re not even supposed to be here in the first place. It’s beyond our usual patrol boundaries. We should get moving before whatever killed them comes after us.”

Marokk was right. The expressions of these dead soldiers were far too eerie. The skin on the faces looked as if it shrunk on the skull. The eyes were bulging out till they refused to close even when deceased. Their jaws were as hard as mortar bricks, as if some curse turned them into stone.

“No, we need to find out who or what killed them,” Antonio said.

Marokk laughed with a feeble sound. “Please don’t do this. This part of Jaddun Forest is not safe. Strange things happen here. Bypassers who traveled here went missing. Some even spotted the faces of people who were long thought to be dead. You do not want to mess around with the nature of this forest. I still want to enjoy the rest of my life with Selina.”

Sharp hissing sound pierced through the air, followed by a few series of humming sound echoed through the forest, and then stopped. Strong gush of wind blew the trees of the forest. The leaves on the trees hustled against one another, as if they were communicating with one another. And then, it all stopped again.

“This forest is haunted,” Marokk said. “We need to leave now.”

Antonio did not believe in ghosts. But the area they were setting foot on had always been known as the Dark Area even before he was born. There had to be some incidents in the past that triggered such nickname. Nevertheless, a job still needed to be done. “Marokk, check the bodies of the soldiers for clues.”

Marokk swallowed hard and looked as if he wanted to run away. “You’re the son of the lord. I shall gladly obey you, even till my death.”

Antonio searched the pockets of the dead soldiers. One of the soldiers wore a different shield crest on his shoulder. Antonio took the crest and showed it to his friend. “It’s a Marshal’s crest.”

“See, even a great Marshal dies here,” Marokk said. “Doesn’t that give you the urgency to leave this place faster?”

Antonio put the crest into his own pocket. He found a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead Marshal. He opened it up to read the note and immediately, his heart sank. If what the note said was true, then they had a dire situation in their hands.

“Let me have a look.” Marokk took the note from Antonio and read it. “Addressed to the King. We are coming for you. We will take your soul, your life and we will feast on it. We will be waiting for you here. Come and face your darkness. Signed by blood – Reapers! Reapers? Who are the Reapers?”

Antonio patted Marokk. “It’s time to leave. We’ve got what we need. We must report this to my father.”

A soft laughter came from the depth of the forest. And then, it was all silence again.

Antonio recognized the voice of the laughter. He knew he heard it somewhere before. “Did you hear somebody laughing?”

Marokk frowned with a frozen face. “What laughter? I didn’t even hear anything.”

But Antonio was positive he heard the laughter. “Never mind, let’s get out of here now!”

(To be continued...)

Keep on running, daddy!

2008-04-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

I went to watch the movie "Run Papa Run" on Friday night. Well, I have to say it's a pretty good show. Think of "Young and Dangerous" plus the humour that pokes fun at gangsterism and the light-hearted nature of the show. I'm giving a 4 out of 5 stars. But why give 1/2 more star more than Forbidden Kingdom? Well, because I felt the show was pretty touching to me towards the end.

Louis Koo's potrayal of the main protagonist, Lee Tin Yun, is good. Well, I felt Louis is pretty much acting like his natural self.

I felt I had to review this movie slightly different from how I reviewed Forbidden Kingdom and Ghost. In the two previous shows, I reviewed by characters, because I felt that the characters bring out the storyline. But in Run Papa Run, I felt it was the storyline that brings up the characters.

The story began with Lee Tin Yun's funeral. You'd be wondering why he was dead. So the story began once again when he was younger...

The entire story is about Lee, a gangster lord, trying to hide his gangster identity from his daughter, Haiyi. His wife, Mabel, a devout Catholic strives to change her husband from her ill ways to a better person, trying all sorts of ways, using religion and family relationship to bring out the good within Lee.

Rene Liu, who acted as Mabel, put up a splendid performance. Her character in the beginning was a typical naive, sam-pat, bimbo girl who fell in love with Lee. But towards the end of the show, you can see her character evolved into a very matured mother and wife. One of Mabel's impressive strength is her persistence to try to bring her husband back to the straight path. She tried, and she tried. Sometimes she succeeded, sometimes she failed. In my opinion, she's truly the lady standing behind Lee with strong support throughout the whole show.Haiyi, when she was still a child, was very adorable and the little child actress who acted her, brought up role very well. You felt there was so much chemistry between she and her dad. However when Haiyi grew up into a young lady (acted by Liu Yihan), I just felt she suddenly turned 2-dimensional. Typical rebellious girl who won't listen to her parents and wants to try all sorts of things in the world. Kinda lack the depth here, but at least we have Louis and Rene's performance that really became the saving grace of the show.

There are a few notable scenes in the show, which I found are very hilarious, despite the theme of gangsterism:

After Mabel gave birth to a daughter (Haiyi) and many years later, Lee was trying desperately to hide his identity as a gangster lord from his little daughter. You know, some things little girls just must not know. The less the daughter knew, the happier the mother was. So Lee told his daughter that if anybody dared to touch her, he would do kung fu and stab the person. Mabel shook her head in disbelief, thinking her husband should have been less violent when talking to a child. To Mabel's surprise, Haiyi happily added by saying that her father should cut off the person's private part as well. (Oh no...where did the kid learn all those stuff?!)
Mabel once tried to run down Lee with her car. And Lee let her run him over and still survived. Haha...tell you, this show was full of hilarious moments.
Lee quoted his mother's statement in a funny way before he died. "My mother said I will die on the streets, not on a boat." Even before his death, there was no end to his comedy.
Lee's quote: "It only takes a day to enter gangsterism. But it takes a lifetime to get out from it." Sounds relevant to drug addiction too...
Lee's quote before he died: "The only difference between I walking out to join gangsterism (when he was young) and the particular night (before he died), was the first one I know I was going to come back..."
Oh yes, the priest in the show is like a walking Bible. Each of his dialogue is a verse from the Bible. Here goes: Lee said he had a problem. Priest said those who kept his life will lose it. Lee said he was afraid of dying. Priest said those who lost his life will find it. Blah blah blah... priest said if only you die, only will the seeds produce many fold. (can't remember the exact quotes, but something like that...) Hmm...I would say quite profound truth, spoken by the priest (of course the truth from the Bible is always life-changing...) The priest's behavior may be applicable in a show, but if in real life, you meet a person who reply every of your conversation with a scripture verse, wouldn't that be weird?
Lee getting baptised together with his daughter in the show was another classic scene. Love it a lot!

I had to admit that the storyline was very cleverly written, with witty dialogues as well. The most touching part was still the climatic argument between Lee and Mabel and the daughter, Haiyi (after she whacked somebody in the disco), and also when Lee and Mabel argued in the church, asking Lee to leave all the gangsterism behind.

The ending does leave you with a twist wondering whether if Lee really die. Lee's quote at the end of the show: "9 out of 10 gangsters died. Perhaps I'm the only one who is spared." Why don't you catch the show and see for yourself if Lee really died? The chemistry between the three characters Lee, Mabel and Haiyi will really bring much energy, laughter and tears to you as you seat yourself and brave through the entire show.

What is so FORBIDDEN about the KINGDOM?

2008-04-21T00:46:00.000+08:00

Went to catch "The Forbidden Kingdom" with friends (Leena, Andrew Junior, Sharon, etc.). Well, if you ask me how many stars do I give to the show? Hmm...3 1/2 stars I guess.I would have to say the highlight of the show is definitely the fight scene between Jackie Chan and Jet Li. What can I say? It is soooo.....goood!!! Feels like the old days when you're watching quality Hong Kong kung fu movies.

Even when fighting enemies, Jackie Chan's style never runs dry. This is what I notice in every of his scene whenever he started whacking his enemies:

Enemies will attack in numbers, but they will line up one by one for him to whack the sunlight out of them.
He will use whatever things that is available around (chairs, swords, sticks, etc.) for him to fight.
He will always have his usual 'almost fall off from high floors' stunts.
He got his clumsy face whenever he starts fighting, probably shown to lure his enemies into a false sense of security.
He and the enemies will always be fighting to grab some important item. (check out the Jackie-Jet fight scene)

Oh, Jackie...you're so predictable! Maybe that's why we love your fighting scenes. Somehow, Jet Li's potrayal of the Monkey King reminded me of Dicky Cheung acting as the same role in yet another title with the same story. Except that Jet Li does look weird when he tries to act like a naughty monkey...Liu Yifei's role as the Golden Sparrow - I got a few words to say about her. Well, she's pretty. But she's got only one same expression throughout the whole show. Kinda reminds me of the actor who potrayed Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode 2 and 3. Hmm...I understand all the murders and betrayal she went through as a kid. But can't she like feel happy for once?

Yeah look at the picture below. Her expression looks the same throughout the whole show. Serious! Or maybe I'm exaggerating...hmm.Michael Angarano (acting as Jason, the protagonist) well...he's kinda like the underdog of the story. But he also shares the same problem with Liu Yifei. Just that he's got this BLUR expression on his face all the way in the show. Never changes, even when he's in the midst of trouble. The time I found him funny was when both Jet Li and Jackie Chan used him to fight over some kung fu tactics. Then he got so frustrated of all the kung fu practices. "No more empty cups!!!" Perhaps that was his most expressive moments. Otherwise, ahem ahem...The storyline is pretty standard and typical. But I like the way Jackie Chan and Jet Li bring a different atmosphere to the show. Without them, I think the show would probably just be another cliche movie.

There are a few notable funny scenes:

When Jackie Chan began praying for rain. Lo and behold! It did indeed RAIN...or maybe not! It was Jet Li causing the rain artificially. I don't want to elaborate further. Why don't you go watch it yourself? Haha...
When Jackie Chan realised Jet Li could talk. Hmm...the expression on his face...rather classic.
Jackie Chan, a wine-lover, pours some wine for Michael. He pours it till overflowing, using it as a parable in explaining that if Michael wants to learn new kung fu styles, he can't do so if his cup is full and overflowing. He needs to empty his cup first. And Michael literally empties his cup, and Jackie Chan gives a 'silly boy, why you empty the cup?' look.
The first appearance of Jet Li as the Silent Monk, riding on a horse with white robes. Me and Leena were simultaneously going like "Wah...looks like Gandalf!"

Overall, the good actors are definitely Jackie and Jet. The others are well kinda like so-so, even the villains.

But otherwise, it was really an entertaining movie! If you love action scenes or you're a fan of Jackie/Jet, then you definitely shouldn't miss this out.

Have you watched Ghost@8TV?

2008-04-19T17:40:00.000+08:00

Have you guys watched the show "Ghost" at 8TV? I've never seen any better Malaysian drama than this before (well, because I didn't watch many before this anyway). But I have to say the actors performance in this show is splendid. Storyline is great as well. But the best part is they managed to inject the emotions very real into the show.

It is the story about a journalist Eza (acted by Cheryl Samad) who meets a super star actor Zack Imran (acted by Nazruddin Rahman), only to realise that the super star actually died in a car accident. She's seeing his spirit. But that's where the fun comes in. Zack claims that he's murdered, and did not die in the accident, as believed by everyone. But who is the main culprit behind his death?You will meet many people in the shows, who might be the suspects in Zack's murder. They have a way of making you believe that this particular person is actually the suspect, but turned out not to be them. In fact, in Episode 9, I almost could not believe that it was THAT person who killed Zack! Haha...trust me, the finale Episode 10 will surprise you even more!I like the show because of the emotions they potrayed. I have to say, Cheryl and Naz really had good chemistry in their acting. Towards the end of the show, you really wonder what will happen after they solve the case, for Zack's spirit will leave forever.

Actually our church had a workshop with the producer/ director/ scriptwriter Ng Ping Ho. And he taught us really good stuff concerning scriptwriting. The key to great scriptwriting is having a great storyline first. Music, setting and acting all come second. Having said that, a story must be entertaining, message comes second. Haha...another thing he said at the end of an episode, he likes to leave it with an emotional scene, though sometimes he did go for the suspense cliffhanger type. Wonderful tips eh...can't believe we actually met him face to face.

Ok anyway, back to the show. There are a few interesting notable characters in the show:

1) FaroukFarouk's role will make you empathise him. Next to the main protagonists Eza and Zack, I think Farouk is quite a favourite among many viewers.

Farouk came into the scene where he wanted to date Eza. And Eza was more than happy to use Farouk as a tool to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. So Eza, on purpose, brought Farouk to a restaurant where he ex-boyfriend was dining with another girl.

And when Farouk found out about it, he went mad, saying something like, "So you bring me here just to make your ex jealous? Kalau nak buat macam itu, buat lah betul-betul." (a twist here...haha) Then he fed with her food and asked her to act happy/romantic between both of them, with her ex-bf looking from behind.

But Farouk is more than meets the eye. For a while, you may think he's good, then he's the bad guy, then back to good. But his story ends very sadly, nobly and touching as well (I shall not reveal the spoiler). In fact, his story ending made me felt very touched, next in second to the finale ending.

2) Jimmy RozarioYou'll love this guy, because he's your typical blur and always-kena-bully kid in your neighbourhood. A very misunderstood friend of Zack, from the beginning till the end, he constantly became the main suspect for the murder of Zack. But everything he did, you will feel for him. Nothing can come in between his strong friendship with Zack, even after the super star is dead. But prepare to be shocked by Episode 9...

3) Datin Faizura

A very pretty Datin/damsel in distress. She serves to bring out the role of her jealous husband even better and make Farouk more heroic.

4) JulieWhen you first watched her, you probably think she's some minor character added into the storyline to make it more spicy. But like what Ng Ping Ho during the workshop said, "If a scene doesn't serve to further the plot, then you should take it out." You would probably wonder how does her role contribute to the story, other than just being the best friend of the main protagonist. Trust me, she's in this show for a reason...

5) Datuk (I can't remember his name)

I like his performance. If there's the Best Villain Award, I would vote for him. The typical snobbish rich man. Sometimes, you really feel like whacking this guy up for abusing his wife. But hey, he's such a good actor, right?

6) David Tan

He's the director of Zack Imran. What's his role in the show? He serves as the comic relief, I would say. He's those pervert man who comes in, and act like a....pervert, precisely. But his speech has the funniest lines I can find in the show so far...muahahaha!

7) Adzam (Eza's ex-boyfriend)What can I comment about him? Why don't you watch the show yourself?
Well, that's all for the review on Ghost. It's a great show. Its ending will leave you wanting more, as you walk away from the screen and begin to ponder about what happens after the last episode. Well done to Ng Ping Ho and his team!!!

You can watch the show in the net at http://www.8tv.com.my.

What do you do in your car?

2008-04-18T00:36:00.000+08:00

If you drive a lot to work or to your campus, what do you usually do in your car in the midst of your traffic jam? I mean when you are all alone in your car. Are you a thinker, a listener or a yoga-man?

Thinker - You begin to ponder everything you can imagine about life.
Listener - You must listen to your radio/music.
Yoga-man - You basically empty your mind and just drive your car.

As for me, I'm a heavy thinker. But since I love writing novels, I basically think about my novel ideas a lot. Traveling to work in the morning is always the best time to think. Put in a little sad, jiwang, sentimental song, and there goes my tap of INSPIRATION for ideas!

I once complained to my friend that I'm spending 8.3% of my daily time traveling and stuck in traffic jam. 8.3% means 2 out of 24 hours of your day. Can you imagine that? Guess what my friend told me. She said, "Good lah. Then you spend 8.3% of your day gathering inspirations." Hmm...I like that!

So what are you when you're driving?

First Post

2008-04-06T20:30:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my first post! This is madness. After the blogging culture becomes popular for so many years, I finally conjure up a storm of courage. . . . . .to blog. After reading so many of my friends' interesting lives and opinions, well, I figure out that it's time I get one for myself as well.

It's like the beginning of a big project. You feel like a young boy, set out to conquer the world, but do not know which continent to begin with. So what do you do for your first few blogs? What is your aim behind your blog posts? Frankly, I have no idea. I just know that one day perhaps...blogging will be an effective tool...an effective tool for...err...I guess I'll find out along this journey of great discovery.

Ok, let's cut to the chase. I'm not that aimless. I think this is what I would like to achieve with my blog:
1. Blog my personal life and opinions.
2. Blog my stories (I write novels during my free time...hehe!).

I don't know, but I've got this "you should start blogging" sensation thing (like the Spidey sense Peter Parker always gets) bugging me ever since the beginning of this year. Haha...Pastor Kevin calls this 'destiny-defining moment' -- a moment where you feel you need to step out of your comfort zone and go for something you've never done before. How to know if you experiencing destiny-defining moments? When you can't sleep at night, when you keep on thinking about something, when everything you do, you keep wanting to embark on this project/idea which keeps popping in your mind. For some, it may be getting a new car, or switching to new career, or going for that relationship, or making a big change in life for the better. It is this moment that will push you to the next level of life.

As for me, my current destiny-defining moment for this season of life is to start blogging. The irony of it...

One thing about me is that I need to learn to be loud. In today's world, it is always considered safe to blend in with the wallpaper, staying as low profile as you can, always agreeing to other people's opinions and having no say of your own. But I feel that if you want to truly make a difference in the world, we need to be loud, in a good way, of course, not in the irritating way (if you know of some friends who are like that...). We must have people noticed us, we must have people hear what we want to tell the world. No heroes become heroes by hiding in the corner (though some may start off like that). But eventually every great man and woman will be called to step out of their comfort zone and fight for a dream. The risk is great, for when you stick your head out, people would want to chop it off. But the rewards are great. You come in line with your destiny. You begin to make a difference. You begin to shine and make an impact wherever you are placed. Never be afraid of being loud!

Hmm...why did I preach all those sermon for? Oh yeah, blogging as a way to be expressive.

Well, we'll see what this blog will produce as time goes by. I believe it's a stepping stone to greater things to come.