What Makes a Man Rise Up?

This is just a random thought that popped into my mind. But I think I'll share cause I believe it'll help the people out there to relate to certain group of people.

I've often female leaders complain why is it so hard to make guy members under them rise up to their calling. Why are the guys so passive? Why do girls basically rise up faster than guys?

I believe it all lies in the mechanism of how different a guy and a girl are wired.

Let's look at the question of why girls tend to rise up faster in their group compared to the guys.

I believe that's because girls are relationship-based creatures. Because girls are more sensitive in their relationships with others, they stand a better chance in capturing their leader's vision and heart easily. Thus, if you're a leader, and you have a girl assistant under you, if you have a good relationship with her, there's a higher chance that she will align herself to run your vision.

The principle is simple. To get a girl member under you to commit to your vision, simply build your relationship with her and you've got it right. Just spend time talking. Share each other visions. Share deep things from your heart. Once you have the relationship right, you would have won your girl member's heart over.

On the other hand, to win a guy's heart, is simply entirely different matter. While girls are relationship-based creatures, guys are responsibility-based creatures. Guys respond to responsibilities entrusted to them. As a leader, you can spend a lot of time with a guy, but that doesn't mean he will rise up. The only way to cause him to rise up, is to help him garner achievements.

While most girls derived their identities from relationships, most guys' identities are derived from achievements.

Give a guy responsibilities, and help him do it well. Believe in him. A guy doesn't need you to spend so much time with him. He just needs your words of affirmations and your trust in him. A guy won't admit he needs help when it comes to solving problems. Offer subtle or behind-the-scene help to him. Make him look good when he gets things done. Praise him. Encourage him. Tell him he did a great job. Do all these and you'll be able to secure a faithful guy assistant in your team.

The surest way to destroy a guy's self esteem is to ridicule him or make him look stupid. Every man's greatest needs are words of affirmation and admiration. Tell him enough times that he's bad in what he does, he'll prove you right. Complain to him enough times why is he not like other strong guys, and he'll prove you right.

Here's the principle to win a guy's heart. If you make him feel good about himself, he'll go all out to make you feel good about yourself. In leadership terms, if you believe in a guy and make him feel great about himself, he'll lay down his life to run your vision.

If you are a girl team leader and you have guys under you, and you find it hard to get your guy's support, you have to remember one thing: If you can make a guy feel good about himself, he'll be sold out to you.

Ok then you ask me, how to make a guy feel good about himself? Here are two simple practical steps.

1. Ask his opinions on important matters. Respect his opinions. Get him involved in decision-making process. This way he'll feel important.
2. Praise him on achievements. Make him look good in front of others. Create a 'responsible man' identity of him in front of other team members. He'll live up to your expectations of him.

What if you give him responsibilty but he refuses or he's not confident enough to take it? Well, don't just chuck him into a pool of responsibility and expect him to swim by himself. Navigate together with him until you're confident he can take it on his own. When he does well, praise him.

For example, a guy member of mine needs to prepare a short 5-minute message. I come in to help him provide good pointers and good advice. Through the advice, he does well for his message presentation. Well, as the leader, praise him in front of everybody and make it look like everything is his effort. That will boost his self-confidence a lot. Suddenly, you realize next time you want him to do another 5-minute speech presentation, he's more confident in himself because you've helped him once. In a way, he did rise up!