Guilt - How Do We Respond To It?

Guilt is a very dangerous thing that can drag you down once it has a grip upon you. When you felt you wronged somebody and have not been the best of friend to that person, it eats you up alive.

Here's a few scenarios:

- Your superior asks you to accomplish something, you did it, but you overlook a detail and end up in some big trouble.
- Your friend asks for your help. But you failed to deliver your help.
- Your superior thinks highly of you, until you make a mistake that makes him think otherwise.
- You are in pursuit of someone you like. And the person thinks because you did something, you are no longer worthy of pursuing her love.

What is our usual response?

We wallow ourselves in self-pity with all the "What if I've done it the other way around?" or "I shouldn't have done things that way."

We bury ourselves in deep regrets.

We feel as if the other person's good impression towards us is destroyed.

Some people let guilt affect their friendships. Some people let guilt affect their self-confidence and self-esteem.

But let me say something.

As long as you're living on this planet, you cannot escape from disappointing people.

Bill Cosby says, "I don't know the key to success. But I know the key to failure is to try to please everybody."

Know how to be strong in setting your personal boundaries. Otherwise, people can easily have control your lives by using guilt to manipulate you.

"I didn't know a person as good as you can behave in such a manner."
"You're so not a gentleman."
"You don't care about us at all."
"You shouldn't have done that thing. It's inappropriate."
"You can't even provide for me. What kind of boyfriend are you?"

The key to tackle this is to know who you are. Never let people's words degrade your self-value.

Be firm with yourself. Sometimes other people have no intention of guilt-manipulating us, but we imprison ourselves in our own jail of guilt.

Move forward fast. We learn from mistakes and we try not to repeat them again. Don't dwell on a same mistake, but just move on.

And remember one thing -- as long as you're breathing on this planet Earth, you are bound to disappoint people sometimes. And people are bound to disappoint us. If we allow ourselves to be limited and stunted because of the raging guilt within us, who are we to blame when we get stuck in our life's journey?

Learn to let go. Be cheerful. Don't take things so seriously. Smile. Go out and enjoy the friendships you have. Go do the things you like. Be glad that you're alive.

Once you stop taking life so seriously, you will realize that life can be very beautiful indeed!