So How Do You Attract The Guys?

I was yet having another interesting conversation with a lady friend of mine. She claimed that a potential guy thinks she's always so emotional.

Here's the question:
Is it wrong for a girl to pour out her emotions to a guy?

If you want to attract a potential guy, my advice is...DON'T DO IT TOO EARLY IN THE FRIENDSHIP!

As a girl, the key is always to present your strength to him first. Let him know you as the STRONG, STEADY, INDEPENDENT, CAPABLE lady. First impression is very important! A potential guy must first see the strengths of a lady before he can find out about the weakness.

It is impossible to get to know somebody without sharing the content of your heart out. But how does a girl do it without being looked upon by the guy as emotional?

Approach the guy and ask his opinions about the situation.

Statement #1
"Hey, there is scenario in my office, where my colleague is doing something funny in the office. She talks bad about the boss, but the boss still rewards her for her performance. (bla bla bla) What do you think I should do?"

Comment: In statement #1, you don't input of any of your emotions into it. To the guy, it is just another difficult situation. Ask for his advice. Ask for his opinion. When you do that to any guy, he will feel valued for having to offer his advice. Especially when he offers good counsel, and you appreciate him for that, that will really score points with him.

Here's another similar statement but with too much emotions in it.

Statement #2
"Hey, there's this colleague who is doing funny things in the office. Yet the boss rewards her for her performance and I'm overlooked in the evaluation. I feel so cheated. I feel so depressed. How come the world is so unfair??? I wish I could quit my job and work elsewhere."

Comment: In statement #2, if you say such emotional statements too early into your friendship, 80% chances he might think you're just problematic.

Remember, first impressions are very important. Girls don't want to present themselves as too emotional. And guys want to see the girls as someone who are strong and steady in their emotions.

For the early part, that is...

In the later part after some time, if both the girl and guy have grown much closer, then it is alright for the girl to share her heart out. After all, honesty and communication are important in a relationship. The guy might probably think, "Wow...she's such a strong and steady girl. And yet she still have problems. Let me be the one to help her out." The guy will feel privileged to offer help to the girl in her problem-solving. That's because he has already known her well...

But the ultimate question remains...

How do girls attract potential guys in the first place?

Some girls do it very naturally, some girls don't...

The girl has to present herself as warm, open and inviting, if she wants the potential guy to notice her.

Make sense, doesn't it?

If a girl always sends signals that she is fierce, formal, serious, unfriendly and indifferent, she practically makes herself invisible in the guy's radar.

No guy wants to approach an unapproachable girl.

Smile. Be friendly. Be fun. Don't always be absorbed/engrossed in a work or task. Initiate conversations. Take the first step.

Some girls have this "I'm busy...don't disturb me", "I'm not in a mood to talk" faces.

Some girls have this "I'm happy. Come and talk to me" face.

It's really up to the girl how she wanna portray herself.

But what if some girls say, "But I'm not supposed to be the one who approach the guys. Guys should make the first step."

When I say first step, I'm not referring to asking a guy out for dinner or date or movie. When I say first step, it means maybe initiating conversation or little gestures of friendship.

Start the conversation first. SMS first. MSN first. Etc...

Guys are basically response-oriented creatures. When they see a girl taking the first step, it shows initiative on the girl's part. And most guys will take the baton from there.

The key is to initiate the first step and let the guy take over from there.

Some girls are not accustomed to knowing how to make a guy feel good.

Well, here's the principle:
If you want to attract a guy, you have to know how to make him feel good about himself.

If you are a girl and you're reading this, you could either agree with me or you might probably think I'm crazy.

What??? How can a girl be the one in making a guy feel good? The guy is supposed to be the one doing all those!!!

Let me show you why.

In a friendship, when she knows how to make him feel good about himself, he'll keep coming back to her for more.

Smile. Be fun. Tease each other. Talk about interesting things. Find common topics to discuss about. Laugh at each other. Be casual. Be relax. Be playful. Encourage him. Praise him. Admire him. Respect him. Make him feel happy.

When a guy feels good about himself around you, he will feel good about you.

If a girl keeps doing that on a regular basis, before you know it, he's already fallen under her spell. He's addicted to her being around. He can't go through days without thinking about her. He needs another dosage of her fun and enthusiasm. Ultimately, he's hooked to her and he can't let himself off from that emotional high.

When that happens, girls, you have already have the power in your hands. He's all out for you and basically will do anything just to be with you. Now, aren't you like Cleopatra when she holds Julius Caesar under her spell?

The guy must be able to associate happiness and fun with you.

Some married men complained that their wives changed totally after they got married. Before they were married, their wives used to be very nice and sweet. That's because before they were married, she used to always make him feel good about himself. But after marriage, all that stops...

Some girls have this 'natural' ability to make guys around them feel stupid like a kid. I don't know how they do it. But if the guys feel stupid or like a kid when they are around that girl, bad news...they will not come back again. One mother in life is enough!

And some girls have this lazy, indifferent expression. The guy ask her a question. She answers one word. He asks another question. She answers another one-liner. So formal!!! How wor???

I remembered a scenario where I was trying to initiate a conversation with an ex-colleague of mine. I asked her happily, "Hey hi! How's your work been?" She said in a complaining tone, "Can you not always ask about my work?!"

I was trying to strike a conversation with her. She replied with such unfriendliness. Suffice to say, I didn't bother to talk with her again.

Well, if a girl can make a guy feel good and great about himself, he will feel good about you. When he feels good about you, he will do things to make you feel good. It's a cycle, you see. In the end, both sides win.

The question "How come no potential guys notice me?" focuses more on you being timid, shy, unnoticed, low-profile, always waiting and hoping but never doing anything.

Why not focus on the question "How can I make potential guys notice me?"? By exuding qualities like friendliness, initiative, confidence, fun, enthusiasm, it doesn't matter whether a girl is introvert or extrovert. These qualities will draw guys to you like bees to honey.