Tuesday, February 3, 2009

How your mind can affect the way you behave

What you THINK is so, so important. Assumptions are bad, and shouldn't even be made. If you think the world is against you, you will behave as if the whole world is really against you. If you think the world loves you, then you will position yourself to receive love from the people around you. It's really a matter of what you are THINKING...

Much time has passed since I last blogged a few months ago. And throughout this period, I think there are much things I need to constantly remind myself. Anyway, in my vision board which we did in our final cell group led by Sarah, I did write these few things:

"I want to be a great communicator."
"I want to be a great influencer."
(Accompanied by pictures of Liu Geng Hong and Ps. Phil Pringles)

And here go some of the things which have been cycling over and over in my head:

Always be there for people when they need you. Sometimes in my busyness of pursuit of achievements, I tend to forget to care for friends who simply want my time to share their problems. There's one thought that came to my mind when they approach me for help: "What? Another problem again?" Should be a simple problem to solve. But little did I know they just want a listening ear. So one day, God threw a situation where I felt so vulnerable that I had to confide my deepest fears to a friend. Sure I was glad that my friend was there to listen to my ramblings till I finished talking. Takes one similar situation to know how it feels...

Always be yourself. How is it that some people are so cool and quiet, and yet they are very respected? How is it that some people are noisy and talkative, and they are liked as well? There is no rule in this world on how to behave. Should I be more talkative, or should I be more reserved? But no matter what, always choose to be yourself. Different personalities have different advantages, but you can't be everything...otherwise you'll suffer from multiple personality disorder.

Manage your expectations. I always have this funny theory that, when you want something badly, you don't get it. And when you are not even thinking so hard about it, then you get it. Hmm...strange world, isn't it? I still remember those day when I used to take Chinese class tuitions back in primary and secondary school. I used to love to aim for 100% in test, but never seem to get it. Then during my final term in the Chinese class, I was more caught up with school activities back then and wasn't paying so much attention to my test as well, but surprisingly I got 100%. And then, there are some things in life where you wish to get it so hard, it just eludes you. So what's the conclusion here? Don't aim for anything? Be contented for what you have, and set no goals? Hmm...I honestly think we should just underproject something less than our expectation, then you'll have chances of overachieving it. Don't aim for something too high up or unrealistic, that when you don't achieve it, you feel bad.

Always look outward, not inward. The day we look inward and wonder why things are not working fine, blah blah blah...that's when we doom ourselves into a cycle of depressing thoughts. Look outward, look forward to great opportunities out there, and you will be a happier person. Have a dream bigger than yourself.

Return to the basics. Be humble. Be eager to learn. Never act as if we've known everything. The fact is we're not.

Learn not how to hook your happiness upon somebody else. I think this may be the biggest and the toughest challenge of all, since humans are pretty much relationship-oriented beings. It is said that 85% of your happiness comes from your relationship with others. It's true that we have to maintain and build good friendship with those around us. But to come to an emotional overdependancy on certain friendships can be unhealthy. It's like allowing others to control our moods. They treat us well, we become happy. They didn't shower us with enough attention, we feel incomplete. Is it the best way to live by? We have to learn how to be emotionally independant.

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